In the Rising Consciousness of a Prankster
by Sneezy Mouse
Summary: Fred and Hermione are still together and still very happy. However, with the pre-wedding stress that befalls the two, the plans may or may not go off without a hitch. Still, Fred chronicles it all in his entertaining way. AU as of OoTP.
1. Summary of DSP

Author's Note: Okay, I have no self-control. I desperately wanted to wait and post this when it was finished, but I just couldn't help it. So I'm just posting the first two chapters to pique interest, but don't expect very regular updates. I really have nothing more to say at the moment except that I strongly suggest reading the original story (Deep in the Subconscious of a Prankster) before this, just so you know what's up. But if you don't want to, I added this brief (sort of) summary for your pleasure. Here we go!

In the Rising Consciousness of a Prankster

_by Sneezy Mouse_

To the faithful readers of The Daily Prophet, and especially those who enjoyed Fred Weasley's last column, "Deep in the Subconscious of a Prankster," 

Due to the overwhelming support of Mr. Weasley's last column, we at the Prophet would like to introduce you to his much anticipated follow up. For those of you didn't read Fred's last column, here is a brief synopsis of what occurred:

_1 – Fred graduated from Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._

_2 – Ron's (his little brother) best friends Hermione Granger and Harry Potter came to visit in August. Fred began to have… interesting thoughts about Hermione._

_3 – Fred had to get a job. Fred got applications and realized that he needed help with them. Hermione offered to help him with applications and Fred offered her flying lessons._

_4 – He got a job (after failing miserably at his first interview) at Zonko's Joke Shop._

_5 – Fred realized he had romantic feelings for Hermione. All through August he battled with himself to tell Hermione how he felt. Then, on September first, when Hermione, Ron, Harry and his sister Ginny were due to go back to school, Fred got to the train station and kissed Hermione before she left._

_6 – At Zonko's on one of his work days, Harry scheduled a devious plan that had Hermione come to Zonko's. There, Hermione and Fred truly expressed their feelings for one another. _

_7 – They wrote awkward letters to each other for awhile. During this time, George and Fred got a place of their own and moved out of the Burrow._

_8 – Fred visited Hogwart's, trained new Beaters and saw Hermione. Ginny gave her a makeover and Fred freaked out. That was when they officially began seeing each other_

_9 – Fred declared his love for Hermione. She did the same._

_10 – Saw Oliver and he gave Fred advice on what to buy Hermione for Christmas. She and Fred then exchanged gifts. It was very nice._

_11 – Hermione came to visit and Fred did a very stupid thing. They had a huge argument and then made up._

_12 – Fred achieved true happiness._

_13 – Fred asked Hermione to marry him. She accepted._

_So, without further ado, we at The Daily Prophet, care of Fred Weasley, are proud to present the sequel to "Deep in the Subconscious of a Prankster."_


	2. Ode to a Hospital Beauty

Authors Note: Unlike last time, my story starts out with the (basically) climactic scene. Most of all you read will not make much sense (but will hopefully amuse you), but as the story progresses, you will be able to understand mostly all of it. 

Also unlike last time, "Fred's" writing style will be less choppy and have less rambles. Oh, there will still be rambles, just not as many of them. Like every other writer in the world, "Fred's" style progresses and matures.

So, (dramatic pause and intake of breath) here is the first, official chapter of "In the Rising Consciousness of a Prankster."

In the Rising Consciousness of a Prankster

_by Fred Weasley_

:*: **1 – Ode to the Hospital Beauty** :*:

I don't know why people say hospitals are dreary places. Yeah, the lighting kind of makes you look washed out. And okay, the food – let's face – both sucks and blows. And yeah, the stench is a little over bearing and the chairs are really uncomfortable. Plus, the doctors are pompous and say big words like "Influenza" and act like you don't know what's going on…

But all of that means nothing – absolutely nothing – when you look into the woman you love's eyes… and she screams bloody murder.

"Ow! Hermione, let go. Please, I can't feel my finge – OW, OW!"

"Don't you say 'ow!'" Hermione screamed at me. "You have no right to say 'ow!' When you have a seven pound person getting ready to pop out of you, then you can say 'ow!"

Did I mention she screamed this directly into my ear? Well, she did. So now, not only did my hand hurt, but I couldn't hear anything either.

I heard a gross squishy noise and saw a glimpse of red stuff that I didn't like the looks of.

"I think I'm going to be sick," I muttered.

"THERE'S NO TIME FOR THAT!" Hermione screamed.

"Okay," I said, getting into Fred the Soother mode. "Think about we learned in that llama class, okay? Peaceful thoughts. Er, oceans and fields of flowers and country lakes."

"Shut _up_!" she screamed. "God, listen to yourself."

I'm pretty sure I caught the nurse give a slight chuckle.

"Okay, fine," I said, giving in. "Don't think about… think about the good things. Think about the time we went to that beach in France. You know – the place where you stung by that jellyfish?"

"That was good?" Hermione asked.

Okay, now I _know_ I heard the nurse laugh.

"Of course it was. Or how about that first summer," I suggested. "The one when we first got together, you know. How we sat out on the lawn that one night and we talked. Or you teaching me how to interview and fill out applications. And, the time I surprised you by coming to Hogwart's to give you your Christmas presents… and… and, er…"

"Zonko's," Hermione said, gasping.

"Right, Zonko's," I said, feeling like I could pass out. "Or later when I taught you how to fly, officially, and you flew around the Burrow's back yard… and then you lost control, hit the window and landed on our chicken coop?"

"Your dad said most people are just content with plummeting to the ground," she said, voice raspy and gripping my hand even tighter. "He said I was special."

The lights in the hospital were starting to get to me. I could hear an ambulance somewhere near. "I know he did," I said, brushing some of her hair off her sweaty face. "Just hold on, Hermione. You're almost there."

"Don't leave me," Hermione whispered urgently. "Promise you won't leave me."

"I won't, I promise," then hearing a disgusting ripping and squishing noise, I stood up – ready to vomit, I might add – and bolted out of the room. I leaned up against the wall, listening to Hermione screaming, "Fred? Fred! Where are you?" I took a few deep breaths, patted my face with my coat, and headed back in.

"Where were you?" Hermione hissed in my ear. "I am _freaking out_ here and you just up and disappear?"

"I did not disappear," I insisted.

"Well, you're here now," she said. "Because I really need – " she was cut off by her own screaming. Loud, painful screaming. It hurt so bad knowing the woman I love was in so much pain. It also hurt because, once again, she dubbed my ear the perfect spot to release it. Not that I blame her of course.

Her scream occurred right as the doctor, all cheery and easy going, taking his time walking over to Hermione while Hermione was huffing and puffing and groaning and squeezing my hand harder than a vice.

"So," the doctor commented lightly. "Looks like we're having a baby."

"Looks like?" I screamed. Oh, Lord, Hermione's temper was rubbing off on me.

"Can I have some drugs," Hermione pleaded. "Please?"

"In a minute," the doctor replied. He moved down and placed Hermione's legs into the stirrup things at the end of the hospital bed. "Let's first see how far you are."

I was a little wary at having a man in between my wife's legs, poking and prodding around, but it was a little too late to change doctor's.

"All right," he said, putting the sheet that was covering Hermione back down. "We're getting close. I just need you to relax and breathe with your partner here. Leave the rest to us."

"When do I get the drugs?" Hermione asked. "Where the hell are they?"

"Just hold tight," he said. "I'll send someone in a moment. Don't worry," he added before leaving. "It'll all be over before you know it."

He exited the room and Hermione said, "_I hate him!_ I mean it."

"Let's do our breathing," I said.

"I don't want to breathe!" she said. "I don't want to do this. I want them to knock me out completely. Even if they just hit me on the head with something. I can't do this, Fred, I can't."

"Yes, yes you can," I reassured her. "We're ready for this."

"Easy for you to say," she snarled. "All you've got to do is sit there and babble like an idiot. You've got the easy part. And stop writing this all down! I swear, if this ends up in your stupid column I will murder you!"

I smirked, and hid the Quick Quill Notes.

"Hermione, hold it together." I handed her some more ice chips.

She sat up quickly, spitting frozen shards of ice everywhere. "Don't tell me to hold it together, not until you have felt this pain, because it is unlike anything – " and she froze, ready to scream as another contraction hit her.

I was ready to point out that she has never been kicked in an area that God only intended to be treated nicely, but decided now wasn't the time for my sarcastic quips.

"Breathe," I said, doing the exercise myself, _puff, puff, puff_, inhale deep, _puff, puff, puff_. "You can do it."

But she wasn't breathing, only moaning again. It was that low, scary noise that made me take a few steps back because I was a bit afraid of her wrath. I was literally scared for my life. _I lied,_ I thought. _We weren't ready for this._ This was scary and big and I felt woozy, tired and terrified all at the same time. I wanted to be out in the waiting room – hanging out with the candy machines and the uncomfortable plastic chairs and that scary guy with the metal rod shoved through his hand. I wanted to be out there, handing out cigars like a Dad should be.

"Stay here," I said, thinking how stupid that sounded. Where else would she go? "I'm going to see if Mum has arrived yet."

"Don't you dare!" she screamed. "Fred! Don't, please."

From the fear in her voice, I almost turned around, but I knew I'd be less help than someone should be. I once again leaned against the cool wall outside her room. Outside, I looked calm and ready, but inside I was falling apart. 

I, Fred Weasley, was not ready to be a Dad. I was ready for Hermione to live with me. I was ready to marry her, but I was not ready for the pain and anguish that accompanied a pregnant woman. That's not very Dad-like. I couldn't do this.

Granted, I have come a long way from what I once was. I was a prankster who said stupid things and did stupid things. That was my thing. But then I graduated from Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and the real world hit me. No longer was I able to count on my sarcasm and quick wit to get me by. I had to get a job… and get a job I did. 

Hey! My first official ramble of my new column. I think I'm going to cry…

Eventually, I heard shoes clacking quickly through the hospital and I looked up to see my mother looking me straight in the eye.

"What are you doing out here?" she screeched at me. "Why aren't you in there helping Hermione? Fred Weasley, I raised you better than that!"

"She's in there, Mum," I said. "She's going bloody insane."

"Well of course she is!" My mother continued to yell. People were now staring. "The person she trusts to always be there for her isn't there for her!"

"But I can't do this, Mum," I said pathetically. "It's too crazy. She's in pain and I just think – "

"Fred," Mum said to me, calming down a bit. "You need to be in there."

"I can't." My throat was hurting when I spoke. "It's too much to deal with."

My mother got a stern look on her face again and said, "Well that's too bad, Fred. Hermione is counting on you. You can't let her down."

"No," I said, sounding like a baby. "I can't."

"Fred Weasley!" Mum said. "If you can release Dungbombs in the school hallways and not get caught, if you have the bravery to sneak out of school, if you have the ability to spend hours and hours flying on a thin piece of wood with murderous flying balls coming at you from all directions… if you can do all of that, then you can do this. I promise."

She grabbed my hand and drug me back in.

"Are my mum and dad here yet?" Hermione asked, tears in her eyes.

"No honey, not yet," Mum said, stroking Hermione's forehead in a soothing manner – much more soothing than they way I had been doing it. But then again, it's hard to be soothing when you're having a nervous breakdown.

"Don't leave me," Hermione croaked. I was unsure if she was speaking to me or Mum, but she needn't worry. We'd both be here for her. "I don't want to do this alone," she added, crying.

"Hermione," I said, looking her directly in the eyes and grasping her hand tightly. "As long as I'm alive, you'll never be alone."

I looked across Hermione's shiny, exhausted face and saw my mother close to her ear, whispering words I couldn't hear. But I knew what they were. It was the same things I heard after my nightmares as a child, after the tumbles off my broom I took, after my brother's went off to school, leaving me alone. I watched Mum do what she did best. No matter how strong I was, she was there to cheer me on. No matter how weak I was, she was strong for the both of us. She was a part of me, just like Hermione, crucial to my own life. I'd never be strong enough to live without either of them.

Just then, I heard the doctor say excitedly, "Here it comes, Hermione. I can see the head."

"It has a head!" I couldn't help but yelling excitedly. Despite the situation at hand, I saw a smile dance across Hermione's face.

"Come on, Hermione," the doctor said. "Just one more push."

"You said that last time!" Hermione screamed.

"I mean it this time," the doctor said.

"You better," Hermione muttered.

"Breathe," Mum said to Hermione. "Just breathe. You can do it."

Hermione grasped my hand tightly, but I was so engrossed in the events transpiring I could barely feel it (although it might be that Hermione had squeezed my hand so hard earlier I couldn't feel anything if I tried). 

"Here it comes," the doctor said. "Just a little bit more, Hermione, just a little bit more."

Hermione groaned and pushed again, gasping for air and I watched the doctor reach down and move a bit and then… there it was.

My baby. Hermione's baby. _Our_ baby.

It's little, delicate mouth was open and it was crying softly, kicking it's feet around and wiggling it's arms in the air. I could see a bit of red hair emitting from its head.

"Congratulations, Hermione," the doctor said, smiling. "It's a girl."

Mum clapped her hands to her mouth and began weeping. Hermione smiled a relieved and happy smile and started crying harder than she had been. I realized at that moment, I was crying too. 

"I told you," Hermione said quietly, causing me to laugh. "I knew it."

"She's beautiful," I told Hermione. She had laid her head down, exhausted, so I told her myself. "She has perfect little fingers and toes. She has red hair," I added. Hermione laughed.

"Just like her dad," Hermione said.

"I bet she'll be just as smart as her mum, though," I said. The nurse turned and took her away. "Wait! Where's she going? Mum, make her come back."

Mum smiled a happy smile and said, "They're just cleaning her. She'll be back in a moment."

A nurse, whose eyes were glassy with tears, I noticed, brought our little girl over to us in a small, fuzzy, pink blanket. Hermione made a small noise in her throat as she took her daughter in her arms. She the looked up at me and said, "I love you, Fred Weasley."

"I love you, too, Hermione Granger," I replied.

"Weasley," she corrected. "We're all Weasley's now."

I looked down at our new daughter and back up at her mother, my wife. "Welcome to the family," I said to our little girl. She made a small noise and buried her perfect little head in Hermione's chest. Hermione sobbed happily and Mum hugged her.

"I'm going to go out and see if your mum and dad are here, Hermione," I said.

"Don't be long," Hermione whispered.

"An army of Death Eaters couldn't keep me away," I said back to her.

I walked backwards out of the hospital room and when I passed the small window to Hermione's room, I quickly turned back and waved, making sure everything was okay. Hermione waved back and made my daughter wave to me.

So I walked through the hallway, and when I reached the lobby, I was met with the most insane thing ever:

Standing there, hanging out with the scary guy with a metal rod through his hands, was my family (Ginny, Ron, George, Percy, Charlie, Bill and Dad – Arthur), their respective significant others (Ginny's Harry, Ron's invisible friend, George's Miranda, Percy's Caitlin – yes, the one and same from Zonko's – Charlie's Stephanie and Bill's Jessica). Plus, Hermione's parents (Fiona and Jeffery), her best friends (Caty, Lonnie and Holly). And then our friends from Hogwart's (Lee, Angelina, Alicia, Katie, Oliver, Parvati, Lavender, Seamus, Dean and Neville) with _their_ respective acquaintances (I don't know their names). 

Basically, the entire lobby was filled with Hermione and I's friends and family. And when I walked out, smiling, they all started clapping and cheering. Then the nurse told them to shut up. Then I said "It's a girl!" And we all started cheering again. The nurse rolled her eyes.

"Can we see her?" almost everyone said. I thought about it, realized Hermione would hate everyone coming in at once, and said, "Just Hermione and my families… and Harry, of course. For now at least."

There were a few sad faces, but mostly, everyone nodded understandingly and sat back down in a chair. I led the rest through the hallway and back into Hermione's room.

"Hello," Hermione said, back to her more normal, though exhausted, state. "How are you all?"

Her mum and dad both ran over to give her a hug and Ron, Harry and Ginny were right behind them. All of my other brother's were content with just patting me on the back and ruffling my hair.

"So," Hermione's mother said. "What's her name?"

Hermione looked at me. I looked at her.

"We never decided," I said. "Did we?"

"No," Hermione said. "We were still discussing it when I went into labor."

"Harry is a fine name," Harry said.

"It's a girl," Ginny pointed out.

"Harriet?" he offered.

"No," I said. "This is hard. The pressure's on, now."

"Look," Hermione said. "I am quite tired at the moment, due to the fact I just gave birth to a child. So if we could possibly discuss this when I've had the ability to sleep, It would be better."

Everyone muttered with one another for a bit until Hermione's mother spoke up.

"Of course it's okay, dear," she said, smoothing her daughter's hair.

"I think that comment was a subconscious hint for all of us to get the Hell – "

"Fred Weasley!" Mum said harshly. "There is a child in the room. Use proper language."

"Bloody Hell, Mum – "

"You too, Ronald," Mum snapped. Ron's ears pinkened.

"Okay," I said, smiling. "We should all probably leave so Hermione can get some much needed rest. I don't know from experience, of course, but giving birth to a child seems like a lot of work."

As everyone bid their good-byes and gave one last look at Baby, Hermione grabbed my hand and I stayed back. When the room emptied, she said, "Stay here."

I nodded and pulled up a chair next to Hermione's bed. I clasped my hand around hers and she sighed happily. The nurse came in and took Baby away and Hermione watched like a hawk as the nurse took her away.

"She'll be back," I said.

"I know," Hermione whispered.

She laid her head on the pillow and closed her eyes. I just sort of sat there, knowing there was no way in Hell I would be able to comfortably sleep in a chair, so I just watched. After a few minutes, Hermione startled me by saying,

"This is going to be in your column, isn't it?"

I laughed and Hermione smiled. The next time I looked up, she was fast asleep.

:*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*:

What an action packed installment, huh? Last time you heard from me, I had asked Hermione to marry me. And now, we have a beautiful baby girl. Actually, at the present time, she's a beautiful three year old. She's adorable. She has red hair, like me. Blue eyes like my Mum's, and a knack for reading like Hermione, her Mum. She's read this Muggle book called "Cinderella" to me so many times I think I know it by heart. But that's not the point.

A lot's happened in the almost four year time frame since I last came to you in my "Subconscious" column. You've probably seen my other random columns ("How to Kick Garden Gnomes' Butt – Literally" and, "My Years Under a Quidditch Tyrant") through the years, but nothing has reached the overwhelming popularity my first official column gained.

I could continue regaling you with tales of boring paper stuff, but that's not why you're reading this… if it is, I feel sorry for you.

Anyways, let's start from the beginning. To set the scene, a few months prior, I had proposed to Hermione. At first, we were really calm and collected about it. After all, we were still very young (I was twenty-two and Hermione was twenty). That was in April (I think). When this story starts, it's November and Hermione is suddenly overcome with, what I dubbed, "Wedding Dementia." I don't want to go too into detail, because that would ruin the story. Let's just start it up, shall we?

**Author's Note:** If anyone cares to note, a lot of the inspiration from this chapter was taken from the book, "Someone Like You" by Sarah Dessen. It has been ages since I read the book, but it pretty much is the gist of what happened. Some of the pregnancy stuff in this story will take insight from that book. Hopefully, it won't be EXACTLY the same, but if it is, I apologize. Pregnancy really isn't my thing (being as I'm seventeen). So, like I said, this chapter leaves you with a few questions. Obviously, Hermione got pregnant. To pose you with a question as to what the plot of this one will be:

Why was there so much focus on Molly and her presence and the way she treated Hermione?

This one will have a more family-oriented plot, but will still have tons of relationship stuff. You will learn more about (my ideas of) the rest of the Weasley clan and Hermione's as well.

So, for the first time this story, review and I will love you forever!****


	3. An Introduction to Wedding Dementia

**Author's Note**: I am expecting reviews of this chapter to question my personification of Hermione. Well, as you all are aware, Hermione has always been the uptight nerd, basically. She never had quite as much fun as she wanted nor did things go her way all that much. So, I'm going to be stereotypical and make her very anal about every little detail of her wedding. She is based on my psychotic aunt, who is scarily like Hermione. I just wanted to clear that up. On with chapter two!

:*: **2 – An Introduction to Wedding Dementia** :*:

"What do you think of these colors, Fred?" Hermione asked me, yet again, as I was trying to eat my cereal (My culinary skills have really improved, I know).

"Er…" I said. "Sure."

"I mean for the bridesmaid gowns," Hermione sighed. "I'm trying to find something that goes with fiery red hair, light brown, blonde and medium brown with rainbow streaks."

"Huh?" I asked.

"Ginny, obviously," Hermione explained. "Then a few of my old friends from pre-Hogwart's."

"Ah," I said wisely. "The Muggle Years."

"Shut up," she said. "But do you think this would work?"

She was holding some swatches of colors. One was a medium purple that would work and the other was a leaf green.

"The green reminds me of Slytherin," I observed, going back to my cereal.

Hermione's mouth opened wide. "I didn't even think of that. Oh, that would be embarrassing. But I guess I shouldn't choose colors now. I mean, the season our wedding is in will determine the color scheme, right?"

"Sure." Crunch, munch, munch.

"Fred!" Hermione said, exasperatedly. "You don't even seem to care."

"I'm sorry," I responded. "But I'm not good at all of this. I think my only job should be just… you know… showing up."

"Speaking of season's, we need to set a date," Hermione said.

"We were talking about season's?" I asked, which was mistake. Hermione gave me one of her worst looks and I conceded. "Fine! How about spring. Say… April or something." Munch, crunch, munch.

"Oh," Hermione said, frowning. "It rains a lot in April."

"We could have it indoor," I suggested. Seeing Hermione's face, I realized she didn't want it indoors. "But remember, a majority of the guests coming are going to be magical. I'm sure there are some spells we could cast to keep the skies clear on that day."

Hermione's face lit up and she clapped her hands together. "Wonderful." She conjured her little calendar book and consulted what I assume to be the month of April. "How about the fourteenth?"

I shrugged and Hermione hugged me. "Great." She kissed me. "I'll go owl Mum right now. She's going to be so happy!"

She ran off and I rolled my eyes. I checked my watch – I was meeting George, Oliver, Lee, Ron and Harry today for a game of Quidditch.

"Hermione," I called. "I'm leaving."

"Have fun," Hermione appeared in the kitchen again. "What time will you be back?"

"Around three, I guess," I said.

"Remember, we – "

"Have dinner with your parents," I finished her sentence. "I know." She only had been reminding me fifty billion times in the last two days.

I kissed Hermione good-bye, then Apparated to the designated meeting place. To clarify, Hermione had moved in right after she graduated from Hogwart's. She took George's room when he moved to Italy with his girlfriend, Miranda. He came home almost every weekend to see us all. Miranda occasionally came with him. She was nice. Almost the complete opposite of Hermione, but still nice.

"Hullo," I said to George, Lee and Ron who had already assembled.

"Hey," Ron and Lee said.

"Bongiorno!" George exclaimed. He's been speaking Italian every chance he gets. Of course, he rarely knows what he's saying.

"How long have you been waiting?" I asked.

"For ever," Lee said. "I could've sworn we said ten and not eleven."

"Why didn't you just leave, then?" I asked.

"Because I was afraid if I did," Lee explained. "That when I left, you guys would show up. Yes, you don't have to say it, Fred. It was dumb."

"How's Hermione?" Ron asked.

"Insane," I responded, causing the three of them to laugh. "She has what I have dubbed, 'Wedding Dementia.' Everything she sees or hears reminds her that we're getting married. She just falls short of seeing a piece of trash and saying, 'Oh, Fred, wouldn't that balled up piece of trash make a beautiful centerpiece?'"

The guys laughed and Harry showed up – he looked a little disheveled.

"Sorry, guys," he said as he walked up to us. "I was over at Ginny's and we kind of…" he trailed off and looked at George, Ron and I. "…did something I probably shouldn't be talking about in front of three of her brothers."

"Smart move, Potter," I said, causing him to laugh an awkward laugh.

"She's also been fishing for a proposal," Harry said. "Dammit, Fred, you screwed me over."

"Me too," George piped up. "Miranda herself doesn't care, but I've got the feeling her parents are more than eager for me to propose."

"So do it," I said to both Harry and George. "Then we'd all be engaged… well, except for Ron here."

"Shut up, you git," Ron said. "I'll find somebody."

"As long as Malfoy doesn't find her first," Harry said.

"Shut up with that!" Ron yelled.

Harry laughed. "But it's just so funny. Melissa cheated on you… with Malfoy. It's hilarious!"

Ron's eyes narrowed. "Fine, fine. Ha, ha. My romance life is a joke. Let's just play."

"Oliver hasn't arrived yet." I glanced around.

"So you guys just won't have a keeper then. Damn," Ron said to me sarcastically, getting on his broom and flying up into the air.

As if on cue, Oliver Wood Apparated in right next to George causing him (George) to jump about five feet into the air. As the rest of us were doubling over in fits of laughter, George glowered at us and joined Ron up in the air. It took a few moments for all of us to calm down, but soon enough, Harry, Lee, Oliver and I were up in the air.

We play Quidditch in a small grove of trees just outside of London. It's got nice, tall trees surrounding an even nicer open patch. We have to charm our brooms to not fly higher than about fifteen feet, and we can't use real Bludgers or a real Snitch. We use fake ones that are also charmed. It's kind of pointless and the exhilaration level is no where near the same as a real game, but it's still a lot of fun.

This time, it was Ron, Lee and George against Harry, Oliver and I. Kind of not fair considering my team, all three of us had played Quidditch at Hogwart's and only two thirds of George's team had. 

We were just about to get the game underway when suddenly something started beeping.

"What the Hell is that?" Lee called.

"It's coming from Fred!" Harry yelled.

I began to look – quite frantically, I might add. "Ah! I'm a bomb! I'm gonna blow!"

The sad part is, I was serious.

"Fred!" George yelled. "Stay still! Don't move!"

I froze. I'm sorry, but I didn't fancy blowing up any time soon.

Everyone slowly made their way over to me, also afraid I would combust. Finally, Ron got over to me first and started picking around trying to find why I was beeping. Suddenly, he yelled and flew away.

"It's a little black box!" he screamed. "It's beeping! My brother's going to die!"

I inspected the area that Ron was just in – my left hip – and found the little black box in question.

"Ron," I said, laughing. "Calm down. It's my… my thing. Hermione bought it for me. It's a locator thing. She dials an number in the fellytone and this thing beeps."

"A pager?" Harry asked. I nodded.

"That's it!" I exclaimed. "Well, I've got to go. Hermione bought it for me in case there was an emergency. Probably didn't get the right reception hall or something. Oh! Yeah, our wedding is on April fourteenth. Bye."

I flew back to the ground and Apparated home where Hermione was waiting for me. 

"You paged?" I asked. Hermione ran up to me and threw her arms around me.

"Mum just called," she sobbed.

"Is anything a matter?" I asked, concern laced through my voice.

"Yes," Hermione sniffed. "She went up to the attic to get my Grandmother's wedding gown – the one I had intended on wearing at our wedding – and she couldn't find the trunk it was kept in. And when she asked Dad, he said that was the trunk he had sold at the Yard Sale they recently had. I really wanted to wear that dress, Fred."

That's all Hermione had talked about lately, actually. How her grandmother had this dress and how Hermione was so looking forward to walking down the aisle in it. Every time we talked about the wedding, and even when we didn't, Hermione mentioned something about it. This was a _big_ deal and even I knew it. And that's saying something. 

"Oh, Hermione," I said, stroking her hair. "It'll be okay." I knew that it wasn't the most reassuring thing I could say, but it was all I could come up with.

I just hugged Hermione and then, after an appropriate amount of silence, I pulled away and said, "Hey! Now you can wear that sexy white number I saw in Diagon Alley a few days ago."

Hermione laughed, and I knew everything would work out fine.

"Thinking about it however, I don't think I should wear white," Hermione said, shocking me.

"Why?"

Hermione just gave me a look and said, "Guess." I looked blank and she added, "We live together, for God's Sake. I don't think people, even our parents, are naïve enough to think I could wear white."

I nodded a proud, manly nod. "True."

"You can't even keep the smugness down, can you?" she jested.

I laughed, picked her up and swung her around. "Not when I'm bedding, and marrying, the most beautiful woman in the world!"

Hermione squealed with laughter as I spun and she said, "It's nice to know where your priorities lie."

"Well," I said reasonably. "I am a young guy. It's what we do."

Hermione laughed again. I love making Hermione laugh. It's a crude description, but it sounds kind of like a mix of a songbird and a crow – loud and kind of obnoxious, but actually really unique and beautiful. God, when Hermione reads this she's going to whap me upside the head with the paper.

"So," Hermione said. "Dinner."

"This is one of those things that I have to get dressed up for, huh?"

"Yes."

"Damn."

"Not dressy," Hermione corrected. "I don't want you showing up in a tuxedo or something. I'm just expecting, as are my parents, a nice, clean pair of khakis and a button down shirt."

I nodded and retreated into my room to find clothing. Considering it's all balled up in my closet, I had a little difficulty. But after a thorough search and a handy anti-wrinkling charm, I was looking pretty spiffy, I must say.

"I feel like I'm going to a job interview," I said, pulling at my shirt.

"Well," Hermione said. "In a way, you are."

"How so?" I asked, looking at Hermione skeptically.

"Did I mention that my grandparents are going to be there tonight?" Hermione asked. I gaped. "Or the rest of my family – including aunts, uncles and cousins."

"What?" My voice was flat.

"And that they aren't aware of our marriage?" Hermione asked. "And that you'll be telling them tonight?"

"Me?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

Hermione shrugged.

"You're afraid too, huh?" I asked, smirking. Hermione looked away. "Ah ha! You are afraid of your parents, too!"

"You're afraid of your mum and dad?"

"Hell yes!" I said. "All the Howlers and insane Muggle obsession. Quite frightening, really."

Hermione laughed and got up. "I'm going into change. Perhaps you would like to as well?"

I shrugged. Then, realizing what she was insinuating (at this moment, I must say I am _very_ happy Hermione's mum and dad don't read the _Daily Prophet_. Although… mine do… Oh well!), and I sprung up out my seat, followed Hermione into her bedroom and slammed the door behind me.

**Author's Note**: Do not fret, my lovely readers. This is a PG-13 story. It will only allude to such activities and never outright say them. They are mature adults in this story and I think it naïve if we assumed they would be completely chaste… especially Freddie boy. Anyways, now is the time to thank my lovely reviewers. I'm actually going to thank all of you this time, so yeah. Also, if you review this time, could you let me know of a REALLY good story on this site? Any couplings as long as it is well written and has a nice plot. I'm in desperate need for some new, good stories so let me know!

**skittle1528**: My first review for "RCP!" An extra big gold star to you! Thanks for the well-wishes and other compliments!

**WerewolfIncognito**: I'm glad you liked the waiting room scene. I thought, seeing as how the Weasley's were so close and how insane everyone at Hogwart's is, it would make the most sense. Thanks!

**eb1981**: Yes, confusion is a bitch. I was expecting the confusion for the first chapter. And yes, they were married. It was the climactic scene of the story, and now I'll have the events leading up to it. Hope that helped with your confusion.

**princess310889**: Thanks, and I did. Hope you liked this chapter, too.

**Amanda**: Reviews in all caps make me feel so good. I don't know why exactly, but thank you. 

**Jade**: Nice prediction for Molly's feelings. It's not exactly what I had planned, but I might try to throw it somewhere. Thanks for the spiffing idea.

**Gwen Potter**: Big fat bummer you've had a rough past few days. But I'm glad my story helped to brighten them a bit. And to answer the name question, I have no idea. You won't find out until the end (Yes, I am that evil!), so yeah. Also, I'm waiting for a new story of yours. Got any in the works? Preferably a Percy/Hermione one?

**gcpunkprincess**: You like Good Charlotte? I LOVE Good Charlotte! (Starts humming a few bars from "Young and Hopeless") Anyways, thanks for the compliments. 

**Isadora (x2)**: Thanks so much for reviewing my story. I have an unhealthy obsession with returning reviewers, so your was awesome to see.

**Curly-Q**: Wow, you like my plots? Awesome. I'm not sure if they are entirely original, so I can't take full credit for them, but thanks!

**Fawkes**: To compare your want of my sequel to the wanting of "Order of the Phoenix" (June 21st! I already ordered from Barnes and Noble so Woo-hoo!) is a huge compliment. Thanks so much for that. I get what you said about Fred being more "Fred" this time around. I wasn't entirely happy with the characterization of him in "DSP" so I'm hoping to really perfect it this time. Although, since he was invented by J.K. Rowling, I doubt I'll get it perfect. Also, you'll find out more about Fred's reaction to the girl baby in later chapters, so hold on. And Mrs. Wealsey's moment to shine will probably happen at the same time so… yeah. 

**MidnightzStorm**: Thanks! It only gets sweeter from here, as Fred will have a few things to patch up later in the story.

**puddy103**: Thank you so much for saying something about "Someone Like You!" I did take a bit of inspiration from it, but I completely forgot the note saying it was from the magnificent Sarah Dessen book. Thanks for that. And about the dialogue, I was totally unaware the dialogue was similar, so I apologize if that irked you in any way. But thanks for the reminder and the review! I appreciate it.

**Kirjava**: More caps lock reviews! YES!!!! I'm glad you (and everyone else, for that matter) are enjoying the sequel. If it's half as popular as DSP, I'll be happy.

**surfngurl**: Thanks for the compliments. I absolutely love writing in Fred's point of view. It entertains me in a scary way. This story will most likely be as long as the first, so I hope that long to you.

**Mjade**: Yes, Fred is slowly regaining consciousness. I was thinking (depending on how I tie this up), I'd have a third installment titled something like, "The Fully Conscious Mind of a Prankster" and have it chronicle his children's leaving for Hogwart's and stuff. Possibly. 

**Alizee**: I hope you're right about the HR/F or G shippers thing. That would awesome if they were all fans of my work.  And you know what? I'm glad I'm back too! I've been working on about fifty other fics at the moment and I've been really busy and now that I actually have time, I am truly happy because I'm writing again. Thanks!

**HogwartsHeadGirl**: It's exciting? Thanks. I like that you all are getting so happed up on my comeback and all. 

**TJ**: As I said to Gwen, Baby's name will be revealed at the very end. I hope that's okay. And, the fact that you used the word "awesome" to describe my story is (for lack of a better word) awesome. It's my favorite word.

**i-heArt-dRacO**: I hope I posted soon enough for you. Expect updates about every week unless I mention otherwise. Thanks!

So, Review, review, review and you get to have personal thank you by me, Sneezy Mouse. I know, it's very enticing isn't it? So review, and tell me what you like or didn't like. Catch you later!


	4. Herman, Snails and Hissy Fits

**Author's Note**: Howdy there, lovely readers. Alas, I am a week late. I am aware of this. But Lord, have I been busy. Wait a second… no I haven't! I've been lazy. Sorry I was delayed a week in posting. I am currently working on three other stories (one of which is my pride and joy). But I'll finish this insane-o rambling after the chapter. Here it comes. Although I'm not quite fond of it. Hope you all are, though. WEEEE!!!

:*: **3 – Herman, Snails and Hissy Fits** :*:

It took a while for us to get situated before Hermione and I were off to her parents house for dinner. Despite my recent workout, I still felt the overwhelming Cloud of Doom placing itself over my head. I've met her parents before, so I thought it wouldn't be a problem. But then I get smacked upside the head with this new knowledge that I would be meeting the whole entire Granger family.

I just knew this dinner wouldn't be pretty. I just knew it. A bunch of Muggles vs. one wizard. I don't count Hermione because, in the presence of her family, she more or less reverts back to Muggle life. So I'm going to be the odd man out. The loner.

I could be like the Lone Ranger. Spending my life alone and solving mysteries and saving pretty women.

Cool.

Anyways… I _was_ talking about the dinner. So, after we got ourselves, well, organized, we Apparated to Hermione's parents house (into her room, as not to scare the Muggles). We then walked downstairs. I was mostly just admiring her house and then it happened.

"It," being Hermione's aunt, Dolores.

"Oh, Good Lord!" she screeched so everyone turned. "It's my little Herman!"

I smirked and looked at Hermione, who said, "Not a word, Fred. Not a word."

Aunt Dolores is… a character, which would be the best word. She's around fifty seven and is very blunt. Now, if any of you recall Sybill Trelawny, Hogwart's' Divination teacher, you will immediately think of a large, sparkly, jingly, insect. That's pretty much how Aunt Dolores is, minus the magical powers.

"Oh!" Aunt Dolores said. "Is this that Weasel boy your mother told me about."

"Weasley, Dolores," Hermione said. "It's Weasley."

"Is she related to Malfoy?" I whispered.

"Don't whisper, young lad. It's impolite," Aunt Dolores said.

"Hello," I said. "I'm Fred."

Aunt Dolores gave me an appraising sort of look and said to Hermione, "Well, my dear. You could probably manage to catch a better fish, but I suppose Weasel will do."

"Dolores!" Not only Hermione said this, but Hermione's mother, Fiona as well.

"Uh, it's Weasley," I said.

"Don't correct your elders, Weasel," Dolores said, whisking Hermione off.

I tried to keep a sour expression off my face as I was introduced by Hermione's father, Jeffrey, to the rest of the family. They seemed to be a nice bunch of people. Very warm and friendly. I was strongly reminded of my own family, except the fact that my family is full of wizards.

"So… Fred is it?" One of Hermione's relatives said.

"Yes."

"What brings you over here with my Grandbaby?" So it was a Grandparent. Either a Grandmother or a very feminine-looking grandfather. _Very_ feminine.

"Er… Well," I stumbled. Was I supposed to tell them about the wedding now? Or was that a "Wait until I give the signal, then tell them" sort of thing. I figured it was the second, so I said, "Just here to meet her family, that's all."

"What are you trying to pull, boy?" the Grandmother said.

"Nothing?" I said and asked at once. My, this family was quite the suspicious ones, weren't they.

"You didn't get her pregnant. Did you?"

"No!" I said. Not yet at least.

Suddenly, Hermione appeared at my side and whisked me out into her backyard.

"I'm so sorry I left you with Grandma Louise," she said. "She's a horrid woman."

"That's you're grandmother," I said, a little shocked.

"All the more reason I should be truthful," she said. "Please don't get the wrong idea about my family. You unfortunately met the two worst members first. We all aren't that bad."

"Well, I've met probably the worst: Grandma Louise and Aunt Dolores, apparently," I said. "And then the best: You."

"You really enjoy wooing me, don't you?" 

"More than anything," I said, then swooped down to kiss her.

"Ahem."

We immediately broke apart to see Hermione's mother standing at the back door, smiling at us.

"We're getting ready to sit down for dinner. Maybe you could possibly make your announcement now?" she said. "It would make splendid dinner conversation."

I looked down at Hermione and she sighed.

"Can't we tell your parents first?" she asked. I gave her a look. "That's right. They already know. Damn _Daily Prophet_. Couldn't you have announced it on BBC or something?"

"The what?"

"Muggle television station, sorry." Hermione sighed and in a determined sort of voice, said, "Bring it on."

So we walked inside. Her family was still bustling about, yapping away to each other. Hermione then introduced me to her cousins, aunts and uncles and I think there were some second cousins twice removed or something like that. After I had met pretty much everyone, Hermione cleared her throat loudly.

"Excuse me," she said loudly but politely. As everyone became silent and looked directly at her, she suddenly lost her calm exterior. "Er… Well, as you all know, Fred and I… er, well we…"

"WE'RE GETTIN' HITCHED!" I screamed. 

There was a ringing silence as everyone looked at me with a stunned silence. Hermione looked up at me with an "O" mouth.

"Well we are," I said. "Don't look so happy for us, please! The excitement is stifling."

I don't know why they weren't cheering. Or at least crying in happiness. Is that too much to ask? I mean, yes, I did just basically scream out I was marrying Hermione and sure, that probably shocked them a bit… but still. Are a few tears too hard for these people to unleash?

Hermione's mother, sensing a shocked environment, said, "Dinner is ready."

As we made our way to the dinner table, me still grinning and Hermione blushing and looking extremely embarrassed, a few family members gave us a pat on the back and offered congratulations.

"So," one of Hermione's cousins asked. "Have you set a date?"

"Uh," Hermione said, looking at me. "I think we decided this morning it was going to be sometime in April. Most likely the fourteenth."

"And we couldn't be more excited," I said happily, grinning. Hermione chuckled next to me and I got a few warm smiles. Aunt Dolores didn't smile at me. She, in fact, looked mighty suspicious.

"So, Weasel," she said. "What do you do for a living? Are you going to be able to provide for my Herman?"

I snickered at the name and said, "I am a writer for a newspaper."

"Which one?"

"A small town newspaper. It has a great following."

"And what's the name?"

"The - er…" I looked at Hermione and she shrugged. "_The Daily Prophet_. It's… a very popular newspaper in some circles."

"Is this one of those religious things? You gonna make my baby take some cyanide pill in allegiance to some crackpot wanker who says he's next to God?"

"Cyanide pills have yet to become a topic at any of our meetings," I said light heartedly. Aunt Dolores, however, didn't take it that way.

"I don't like your attitude, Weasel."

"Aunt Dolores, please," Hermione said. "Just leave him be. For now at least."

Aunt Dolores narrowed her eyes at me, then turned to Fiona (Hermione's mother) and said, "So where's the grub?"

Fiona stood up and walked into the kitchen and, along with the help of a few other people, brought out plates covered with food. Very restaurant-y.

"I decided to try something different," she said.

"Mum's been very into ethnic foods," Hermione said. "She went through a Chinese phase, an Indian phase, an American phase."

As I looked down into my plate, I saw some weird meat thing in some liquid, some cheese type thing and a pile of slimy stuff. I poked my fork at it and looked at Hermione with a hidden look of disgust,

"It's French," Hermione said.

"I made Coqu Au Vin – chicken in wine – a small cut of brie and some escargot." Fiona was beaming at her culinary skills.

I personally, really wanted a bowl of cereal. Delicious, simple, no insane spelling, cereal.

"What is this?" I poked at the slimy stuff.

"That's escargot," Hermione said. "Try it. It is actually quite delicious."

I took a small nibble. All right, it was pretty good. It looked a lot worse than it was. In fact, if I closed my eyes and ate it, it wasn't half bad.

"And what is this? The non-foreign name, I mean."

"Snails," Hermione said as if it didn't matter.

It obviously mattered to me, as the snail bits that were suddenly covering Hermione were any tribute to the truth.

"Snails? SNAILS!? You had me eat snails?"

"Fred! Sit down," Hermione said, picking out the snail bits I had spit out all over her.

"Are snails even considered food!?" I cried, hysterical.

"In France, obviously," Hermione retorted.

"Told you he wasn't good enough for you," Aunt Dolores said.

"Aunt Dolores, please!" Hermione and her mother said at once.

"Not refined at all," Dolores continued. "You need someone more cultured, Herman. Someone with a more elegant taste. A love for the finer things in life."

"The finer things in life aren't bugs!"

"Actually," a cousin replied. "Snails are not insects. They are part of the crustacean family, genus – "

"Sod off, Martin," Hermione said. "I'm sorry Mum, Dad… everyone. We have to go. My _fiancée_ is going to have to continue his hissy fit at home. Fred we're leaving."

"I'm going to die!" I screamed.

Hermione drug me outside, where we promptly Apparated home.

"I hope you are happy, Fred!" she screamed as I scoured my mouth with my toothbrush and paste. "You embarrassed me in front of, literally, my entire family! How would you like it if I started screaming like a child in your home?" I was about to answer when Hermione said. "Oh wait, your family probably wouldn't even notice!"

"Hey, hey, hey!" I said, mouth full of toothpaste foam. "That was highly uncalled for!"

"And so was your little production, Fred," Hermione responded. 

"Bloody Hell! They were snails, Hermione! SNAILS!"

"You thought they were good until you found out what they actually were!"

"Well sorry for thinking snails are gross!"

"You could've handled it in a more mature manner."

We stewed in silence for a few moments until a sudden revelation hit me.

"Are you embarrassed by me?" I asked.

"After tonight – "

"Not just tonight," I interrupted. "In general. Do you think I'm not good enough for you? For your family?"

Hermione's eyes narrowed. "How dare you."

"That didn't answer my question," I said.

"I shouldn't have to answer your question!" Hermione screeched. "You should know that I am not ashamed of you. If I were, would I have even thought to bring you to my parents house to meet my entire family."

"Then what's your problem? Like I haven't embarrassed you before! I proposed to you in a bloody newspaper!"

"And that's a good kind of embarrassed! That's an embarrassed that shows that I have someone that loves me more than anything and that would risk his pride to do something so sweet for me."

"I still would," I said quietly. "I'd do anything to make you happy… to let you know you are loved. But the fact I was eating some God-damned snails freaked me out."

Hermione grinned a bit. I can talk my way out of trouble so easily. Now would be the time to recall when I almost flushed my relationship with Hermione down the loo when I, ahem, laughed like a maniac when she said she would want to shag me.

"Am I forgiven?" I asked, smirking.

Hermione looked at me appraisingly.

"I'm worth it," I said. "I'm funny, sweet, and great in bed."

Hermione laughed.

"Well in _that_ case," she said, walking over to me and giving me a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, Herman."

Hermione scowled in an amused way. "I swear, if you tell anyone about 'Herman,' especially George and _especially_ Ron, I will murder you."

"Okay, okay."

Suddenly, the telephone (it took ages for Hermione to get me to stop calling it the fellytone) rang. Hermione had it installed so her family could contact her easily.

"Hello?" she said. "Okay… now?… I see… are you sure? Can't Hannah come in?… I see… Really? Is she going to be okay?… All right. See you in a few minutes." Hermione hung up.

"I have to go in to work," she said despairingly.

Damn. I was expecting make-up sex. 

Wow, my mind is very much in the gutter right now.

"Hannah and her boyfriend broke up, so they need someone else at the phones. I'll see you tonight?"

Hermione worked in the Muggle Relations Department of the ministry. She was an assistant to the Head of the department along with two other girls (Hannah, apparently and some other girl). It's the least magical office in the entire ministry, owing to the fact that they have a lot of contact with the Muggle Ministry.

I guess I should explain that a bit too, since most people aren't aware of it, huh? I thought so. Yes, that's right. I, Fred Weasley, know more than you.

Well, most of you.

Okay, okay… some of you.

Alright, ALRIGHT! Two of you (yes, my brother Ron _is_ included on that).

Anyways, ever since Hermione's (and Ron and Harry's, for that matter) fourth year, my sixth, when You-Know-Who rose again, our ministry (well, a part of our ministry since Fudge was all corrupt and stuff) decided that the wizards and Muggles needed to band together to keep us all against You-Know-Who safe. Ever since then, it's been a fast rising, successful department. It only hires Muggle-born wizards and witches since they know the most about Muggles than most pure-blood wizards (Except for maybe my dad). 

So that's what Hermione does and what she unfortunately had to go into that night.

"Will you be home later?" I asked.

"Possibly," Hermione replied. "Depending on how swamped we are. It could be an all-nighter."

"Damn."

"I know. I'll see you later tonight."

"Bye."

"I love you."

I grinned evilly. "I love you, Herman."

Hermione gave me a look and Apparated to work.

Aah, my Herman. How I love thee.

**Author's Note**: Bahaha. On with the thank you's!

**surfngurl**: I'm glad you liked Hermione's characterization. I was worried everyone would think I made her out to be this Wedding Harpy or something. But apparently, I didn't. WOO! Thanks for reviewing.

**Alizee**: Wow! I can't think of a cooler compliment other than, "I was having a total crap time until you updated!" kind of compliment. Wow. I'm starting to get a feeling of the happy warm fuzzies. And actually, sometimes I do feel I have a total crap chapter but I post it anyways. I don't want you all to lose interest in my story.

**Sweet Piglet**: You have such a cute sign in name! Sorry, off topic. Anywho, way to go with the date coincidence. I hope their wedding is most definetly spiffing enough to be on your birthday.

**Isadora**: Thank you! I actually haven't had time to check out your faves, but I will ASAP. Thanks for letting me know.

**Curly-Q**: Actually, Hermione's parents did know (as you could see from this chapter). Her extended family didn't. Hope it was actually fun to read.

**skittle1528**: I checked out the "Ginny's Gift" stories and, though I;m not a big fan of Harry/Ginny (they're only a side couple in this story because I'm not original enough to deal with other couples) and it is now currently on my "Favorite Stories" list. Thanks for the great recommendations and the review.

**HogwartsHeadGirl**: I'm glad you like my story. I never saw a Fred POV story (feel free to let me know if you have), and I thought it would be entertaining. Lo and behold, it is. Thanks!

**Kirjava**: In "DSP," there wasn't much newspaper stuff because I wanted the fact that he wrote for the _Prophet_ to be a surprise. It isn't now, so I figured, why fight it? You all know anyhow. I hope that clarifies your wonderings. Thanks.

tickle the dragon: Thanks for the compliments. It's nice to know so many of you approve of Fred's thoughts and such.

**Gwen Potter**: Okay, deep breath… YOU'RE MAKING A SEQUEL TO "CONSEQUENCES!!!!!!!!!!????????" I don't think an infinite number of "Hoorays!" and exclamation points can express my happiness. I'm eagerly awaiting it already (and e-mail me if you want any help… not that you'd need it 'cause your writing kicks major ass.)

tortify: Yes, yes. Fred and Hermione stories rock. Thanks for the rockin' compliments!

**Kat19**: Thanks so much for the review and compliments. Compliments/reviews make me type and post faster (unless I'm feeling incredibly lazy…)

**sweetevangeline**: Rereading my story, eh? Sounds like a crime I am guilty of committing with your stories. Also, I saw you updated your story. I'm going to read and review that as soon as I can. Keep up the good work (and keep on reviewin').

**seanbs-gurl**: Okay, to clarify: The first chapter, with Hermione giving birth takes place later in the story AFTER they are married. How long after, however, will spoil the plot. Also, is your name is a throw-back to the incredibly sexy Sean Biggerstaff? Because he is very sexy.

**Befuzzled**: You're name is also really cute! I love the word fuzz! It made me smile, seeing your review and you name. Thanks.

**Hannah Holt**: I made you obsessed with HP fan fic again? Coolness. Congrats with finishing "Between the Two" if you didn't get my review. I'll be checking out your other works as soon as some time appears in my schedule.

**Astrid**: I updated, dammit! Please don't hit me with your broomstick. On a semi-related note, I stepped on a rake the other day and in true cartoon style, it flew up and whapped me in the nose. Okay, that really isn't related. I just like telling that story.

**LaddyButterfly**: Thanks so much fro what you had to say. It's always quite nice when reviewers say something along the lines of, "I don't usually like (insert ship of choice here), but you made me really like them and…" It really rocks my socks when people say that. Thanks so much!

**A fan I got an account**: I got your e-mail and I will be sending you update e-mails per your request. Awesome that you like my story so much.

**Muggle Lover**: Yes, I did have amnesia. Now I am offended… just joking. When I read your review, I laughed. The amnesia part was hilarious, I hope you meant it to be. I'm glad my stories (or story) is one of your favorite's. It's completely awesome. Thanks!

Okay, after that long, inane thank you lost, I have one more thing to add. I am starting a new "Update E-mail" list, so if you would like an e-mail when I update my stories, drop me a review and let me know. Thanks for reading and (hopefully) reviewing!


	5. Planning at the Burrow

**Author's Note**: Oh, Lord! I am deeply sorry for the super-duper long delay in my updating. This time, the culprit is not laziness but busyness. I am working on my high school's play right now – "Oliver!" – and I'm at school from 7:50 in the morning until approximately 7:30 at night. Busy, busy, busy. I'm like a little bumbly bee. Yes, I said bumbly.

On a completely unrelated, yet important note: you should all go read sweetevangeline's story "Lightning Bolts and Filibuster Fireworks." It is a right cool story about Hermione and George with a special cameo by the luscious Oliver Wood and yours truly, Sneezy Mouse (under the alias of Caitlin, my real name).

So, read my story (and review if you'd like), then read that story. WOO-HOO!!!!

:*: **4 – Planning at the Burrow** :*:

_Mr. and Mrs. Jeffery and Fiona Granger and Mr. and Mrs. Arthur and Molly Weasley cordially invite you partake in the blessed union of souls between Hermione Granger and Fred Weasley on the fourteenth of April at the La Souris qui Éternue Vineyard Reserve Beach in Le Fromage Cause la Souris pour Eternuer, France._

_There will be a Chunnel trip taking place two days before the ceremonies take place, funded by the bride's parents._

_A reception will follow immediately after the proceedings in the dining patio in the actual vineyard. Directions will be given. The wedding will be a formal dress affair and the reception a dress-casual. Please dress accordingly._

_Enclosed is a list of locations the couple is registered at. A gift is not required, but would be greatly appreciated if you so deemed to purchase one._

_Please R.S.V.P. as soon as possible with either family. On behalf of the couple, we hope to see you there._

That was Hermione's invitation. This was the one _I_ wanted:

_Fred Weasley and Hermione Granger are inviting you to their wedding. It's in this fancy French Vineyard that says something about a sneezing mouse that takes place in a town that also mention something about a sneezing mouse and cheese. It takes place on the fourteenth of April._

_There's an underground journey through that tunnel thing between England and France. Beware, as we will be going underground and might encounter some underground monsters. Please do not come if you have a weak heart._

_Unfortunately, since this is a wedding, you have to dress up. Yes, it sucks, but the groom has to do it too, and dammit, if he has to dress up, you do too!_

_Also, we like gifts. You don't _have_ to buy one, but if you don't, we'll say it's okay but really hate you behind your back. You know, you're choice._

_So, see you on the fourteenth. It'll be really fun._

But, no. Hermione wanted proper invitations. God forbid we have a slightly amusing wedding.

"Fred," Hermione reasoned. "I want this to be special. Can we please use the invitations I drafted?"

"But they have no element of Fred in them," I complained, then added after seeing the look on Hermione's face. "But then that was the point, I'm assuming."

"Glad you see it my way."

"I still think my only responsibility should be to show up."

"Fred Weasley, you are going to be a part of this wedding, dammit!" Hermione said.

"You two are already arguing like a married couple," Ginny said.

"Quiet, Ginny!" Hermione and I both snapped. Then we looked at each other and laughed.

"So, Hermione," Ginny asked. "Who are you're bridesmaids? Besides me, I mean."

"You're not one of my bridesmaids,"  Hermione said simply.

So… I was in shock. I could've sworn Hermione would've picked Ginny as a bridesmaid. After all, she had mentioned Ginny before. Ginny was in shock, as well, I could tell. She looked as if she was trying not to cry, actually.

"Oh," was all Ginny said.

"Ginny, you twit!" Hermione said. "You're not one of my bridesmaids because you're my maid-of-honor!"

And now, due to the high-pitched squeal that only Ginny can release, my ears hurt.

"Okay, Ginny, you can let go now," Hermione said. "I can't breathe."

"Please, Ginny," I said. "I'd actually like to be able to get married to a person that hasn't been suffocated."

"Sorry," Ginny said, releasing Hermione. "I'm just – this is so… happy!"

Ginny and Hermione hugged again. Today was the first of many, many, MANY wedding information creation days. Despite the fact that, since it was now early December, we had around four months until we had to actually get married, Hermione insisted we have a basic plan and two back-up plans in case something went wrong.

Our first planning day was to take place at the Burrow, where we would start the organization for the wizard portion of the invitees. We had to start a lot of paper work saying that we wouldn't mistreat the Muggles, that we would keep the wizarding secret.

For example, there was this charm we had to place that made all the Muggles forget any magic that occurred at our wedding due to a wizard or witch releasing it. But, to ensure they didn't forget the entire ceremony, the Wizard/witch magic would turn into a special pyrotechnic show or a trick of the light. You know, crap that only Muggles would believe in.

Those crazy Muggles. They'll believe almost anything to avoid the truth.

"Mum!" Ginny squealed as she (Mum), entered the room. "Guess what?"

Mum looked a little stunned at being yelled at, so she didn't respond.

"Hermione made me her maid-of-honor!" Ginny answered.

"Oh, Ginny, Hermione," Mum said. "That's wonderful."

Oh crap, here come the tears.

Ever since Hermione and I got engaged, every time I see Mum, she's either crying or reminiscing when I was a lad… or crying _while_ reminiscing when I was a lad. You'd think she'd be used to it, seeing as how she's already dealt with it with both Bill and Charlie.

But you see, I guess that since this is the first official, family occasion, she has a right to. Bill and Charlie both eloped. Bill eloped with Jessica the summer after I proposed to Hermione. The story is: Bill was in Egypt, met Jessica. Two weeks later, we get an owl saying they were wedded by some traditional Egyptian priest bloke (Jessica is half-Egyptian, half-British).

Charlie was a much more traditional elopement story. Stephanie came into Charlie's life as a helper with the herd of dragons Charlie deals with in Romania. At first, Ron had the fancies for Stephanie, but Steph was all starry-eyed for good ole' Charlie. So she and Charlie got together and eventually, Charlie proposed. But Stephanie's mother and father are pure-blood witches and wizards with a less-than-kosher attitude towards Muggles, Muggleborns and Muggle(born) lovers, the latter in which Charlie fits into.

But love knows no boundaries (apparently) and they got married in a small chapel set up near Charlie and Steph's dragon reserve. 

Ah, all this romance talk is making me misty-eyed. Sigh.

Wow. I was talking about Mum's right to cry all the time when she's around me and I ended up giving a whole story behind Bill and Charlie. What I was trying to get at was that Mum has yet to be able to experience a traditional (for the most part) wedding and she was way too into the whole situation. For now, it had yet to annoy me. As long as Mum was around with the whole wedding planning, I assumed I didn't have to do anything. Just sit back, occasionally say I liked this color or this fabric and I'd be just dandy.

Boy, was I wrong.

"Fred? Fred!" Hermione said, breaking me out of the zoning out I was doing.

"Yes?" I asked innocently.

"I asked you who your best man is going to be? And the rest of them?"

"My brothers," I said. "And Harry, Lee, and Oliver. Why?"

"And your best man?"

I shrugged. "George, I guess."

"Couldn't you pick someone that wasn't my brother as well?" Ginny asked.

"Like Harry?" I shot back. Ginny blushed.

"If you insist."

"You're not going to be able to have that many," Hermione said. "I'm only picking three bridesmaids, one maid-of-honor." Ginny beamed.

"Okay," I said.

Hermione looked at me expectantly.

"You want me to choose now?" I asked.

"It would be helpful," Hermione said. "I'm going to have to start thinking about bridesmaid's gowns and then have them clash with red hair."

I smirked. "You're always going to have to deal with red hair." I pointed to my own.

"But that's different. _I_ don't have to worry about clashing. White goes magnificently with your hair."

"So have the bridesmaids and stuff wear white," I offered.

By the shocked silence that engulfed the room, you might have though I said something like make them all shoot a baby deer or something.

"What?" I asked.

Mum sighed and said as if she were insulted, "Only the bride is allowed to wear white. It takes away from the individuality of the bride. The others must wear a different color."

"Pink?" 

The three women in the room with me shook their heads. "Pink is too… blah."

"Oh, well! That explains everything!"

"Fred," Hermione said. "Would you like to leave? You don't seem as if you're having the best of times."

"I don't need you to tell me when to leave," I said. "But can I? Really?"

Hermione grinned and nodded.

"Yes!"

"Oh, praise Merlin!" I yelled, popping out of my seat.

"Wait!" Hermione cried.

"Dammit," I muttered.

Hermione grinned again. "I just wanted to ask you about next Friday."

"What about it?" I asked.

"I was thinking… maybe," Hermione said. "That we could have my friends over for dinner. And yours. Just so they have a chance to get to know each other."

"Uh…" I paused. "I guess. Do we have to cook?"

"Yes," Hermione responded.

"Do _I_ have to cook?" 

"Yes!"

"But shouldn't we give your friends more notice?"

"Maybe I forgot to tell you," Hermione said. "But they are already planning on coming."

"Wow," I said, amused. "You're not very forth-coming with the information these days are you."

Hermione sighed. "Look. I'm just really stressed about the wedding and stuff. It's made me forgetful on a few other things."

"Forgetfulness," I said, in my doctor voice. "Another sign of serious Wedding Dementia."

"Wedding Dementia?" Ginny and Mum said at the same time.

"That is just some really dumb thing that Fred thought up," Hermione answered. "He now brings it up whenever I do something he thinks is irresponsible or…"

"Stupid?" I offered. "Insane? Irritating?"

"They get it," Hermione snapped.

"Just thought I'd help," I said. "But I'm off. Next Friday sounds fine. See you at home," I added, giving Hermione a kiss.

"Bye," Hermione said.

I waved and Apparated away. As I popped into the Leaky Cauldron – I really wanted a drink – I was all smiles. I was so amazingly happy to have left. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy wedding talk, but hours on top of more hours of it is kind of annoying. And boring. Did I mention boring?

It's all just a bit much for me, actually. At the time, I wasn't quite sure if the wedding was really all that worth it. All it's doing is making Hermione annoying, making me look really stupid and mean and making both of us act like morons, basically. And the worse part is, marriage isn't supposed to get better. It all goes down hill from here.

And Good God, that scared me.

But ah, fears be gone! I was drinking.

:*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*:

I literally stumbled home at around two in the morning – a good four hours later. Boy, when I go out to get drunk, I get _drunk_. I must say that I don't remember anything that happened that night. According to Hermione, this is what it was.

"Fred!?" I vaguely remember Hermione saying when I popped into the living room (thankfully in one piece – Apparation is quite dangerous when your completely sloshed). "Fred, I have news."

"Yeah?" I said, grinning.

"I'm not sure how you're going to feel about this but…" she stopped.

I blinked a couple times. 

"What?"

Hermione narrowed her eyes. 

"Are you _drunk_?" she questioned in a hissing-type voice.

I blinked some more.

"What?"

"You _are_ drunk!" she yelled. "Oh, I don't believe this. What the hell were you thinking? Or were you? Was Ron there? You probably thought you could drink him under the table, I bet."

"Of course I can drink Ron under the table!" was apparently what I said. "Even Ginny can drink him under the table!"

Hermione shook her head in disappointment. "Is that what you have been doing since you left the Burrow? Drinking?"

"Pretty much."

"And you Apparated home!? You sure got lucky, mister! You could've ended up somewhere entirely different. Or even worse, you could've been splinched! Did you even think about that?"

"Well," I said, getting a little angry. "I wasn't. So back off. I'm going to bed."

"Not like this, you're not." Hermione stepped in front of my path to the bedroom. "You could get sick and end up choking on your own vomit."

Her harping voice caused me to take a few steps back. While doing so, I ran into the arm of the large chair and fell onto it.

"Fine," I said. "I'll just sleep on the chair."

Hermione let out a frustrated cry and stalked away.

"Good night!" I cried cheerily. "I love you!"

The door to her bedroom slammed shut.

**Author's Note**: Ooh. Drama, drama, drama. So, a big gold star to my reader's who guess correctly what Hermione needed to tell Fred (it shouldn't be that hard. It is a quite cliché occurrence). 

French translation time!:

La Souris qui Éternue: The Sneezing Mouse

Le Fromage Cause la Souris pour Eternuer: The Cheese Causes the Mouse to Sneeze

I'm quite proud of those names, as a matter of fact. Now on with the thank you's!

**faith**: I'm glad your friend is in LOVE with me. It's nice to be loved.

**sweetevangeline**: You are *so* the reviewer. I liked your comment about snails being "Slimey little bastards." It was quite the funny remark. Can't wait for the next update in "Lightning Bolts."

**b0ing**: Thanks so much. I'm glad you are liking this story.

**Alizee**: Yes! More warm fuzzies. Also, bummer about your "spawn of satan" relatives. I don't have any like that (thank the lord), so I can't say I feel your pain. Also, happy belated 16th birthday! Hope you got lots of presents, despite the horrible prank.

**gcpunkprincess**: Thanks so much for the kind review. Hope you liked this chapter as much as the others!

**Isadora**: Your Geometry book, eh? Well, feel free to do so. She is a very annoying character and her role in this story isn't over yet.

**Lady Laughs-A-Lot**: Curly-Q, did you change your name? Because the new one made me smile. Anyways, I hope you didn't give up hope despite the long update time! I'll try harder to get the next one up in a week!  
**Gwen Potter**: Well, if you feel the need to throw out what you've got on the sequel, do so but make the rewrite snappy! I need my Percy/Hermione fix. I'm trying to write one of my own, but I always get frustrated because I don't think it nearly up to par with the Percy/Hermione standard you have set. But thanks for reviewing and Hermione's relatives will be in the story later as well. Glad you enjoyed them.

**Muggle Lover**: I would have to agree on the whole hugging Oliver part… that would be perfection. Ahem, anyways, I must say I loved your review. It strongly reminded me of Fred for some odd reason. That was supposed to be a compliment, just to let you know. Thanks for reviewing!

**Hannah Holt**: I'm glad your enjoying my story so much. I hope you liked this chapter as much as the other.

**tortify**: Well, I know this chapter had no snails in it, but I hope it was good nonetheless. Thanks for reviewing.

**HogwartsHeadGirl**: Well, Hermione hasn't met Fred's extended family, so more hilarity is on the way.

**Sabriel**: You're Canadian!? Awesome!!! I am obsessed with Canada! I constantly make random comments about Canada to my friends. They get quite annoyed with me, actually. The sad part is, I'm obsessed with a place I've never been. I know, sadness. I live three hours away from the British Columbia border (I live in Seattle, Wa. in case you were wondering) and I've never gone up there. Sigh. Thanks for the review and I hope you are enjoying the way the plot is unfolding.

**Jen Drake**: Thanks for the compliments and consider yourself on my fan list. 

**gohansfollowers**: I know. Fred has no tact, does he? But all is well, because it makes for great comical scenes that you all seem to enjoy immensely. 

**oneiros lykos**: Well, gosh. Thanks for reading my story despite the fact your head is all clogged up and it's painful to read. And yes, I know it was confusing at the beginning but hopefully, as the story progresses the first chapter will begin to make a bit more sense.

**eudyptulaminor**: Thanks for the reviews and the compliments. Also, for the clarification on the whole snail family thing. I honestly had no clue and I didn't think anyone would really notice if I were wrong. But alas, I was and you so nicely pointed it out. Thanks. I clicked on your name and read your bio and here's my answer on the meaning of your name: a rock hopper.

**Daine of Queenscove**: Oh! The humility! A thousand thank you's for placing me on your "Favorite Author's" list. That's very nice of you and I righteously appreciate it! Also, thanks for letting me know I actually do sound like Fred. I'm always worried about the characterization my writing gives him and it's nice to know I'm not grotesquely butchering him. Thanks!

So there are my thanks. Also, if you would like a cameo in this story, drop me a review with a name and brief (very brief) description. I'm going to need numerous people to play Fred and Hermione's relatives so if your interested, let me know and I'll type you in. Until next time…__


	6. Hermione the Oven

**Author's Note**: So… Fred getting completely and utterly bombed was a very well-received action. Perhaps he will get plastered once again before the story is over. Maybe at his wedding reception! Just kidding. Okay, super sorry for the major-long update time. School let's out for me in like, three weeks so I'm busy with finals and all. So, enough of my groveling for forgiveness. I'll just get on with the chapter!

Oh! Also, congrats to: Gwen Potter, Black Sparkles, BellethePhilosopher'sCookie, Muggle Lover, LadyLupin1020, and Singtoangels. Here are your stars: *** * *** *** * ***

:*: **5 – Hermione the Oven **:*:

A week later, Hermione still wasn't talking to me. It was almost Christmas and there was not a lot of holiday cheer in our living quarters. It was more like a bitter ice storm whenever the two of us were in the same room together.

Throughout the week, I was trying like Hell to do anything to make her talk to me again. I sent flowers to her work, I talked to her friends (mainly Ginny as I didn't know her other friends) and tried to make it better but it wasn't working. 

As Hermione was getting ready to go into work Thursday morning, I asked her "How many times do I have to apologize before you talk to me again, Hermione?"

Hermione stopped messing with her tea and looked up at me. "I don't know, Fred. What you did… it messed me up. I don't know how to deal with it."

"With what!?" I asked, quite upset. "I got drunk. I've gotten drunk before."

"But it's different now," Hermione argued.

"How?" I asked. "How are things different? Because we're engaged?"

Hermione shook her head. "I've been questioning your maturity level since that fiasco at my parents' home and don't say anything because we're through talking about it." 

I closed my mouth.

"And last night you proved to me that your maturity level isn't that high right now," she continued. "You're still the little ruffian that blew up toilets at Hogwart's."

"And so what does that have to do with anything?" I asked.

"Life is happening all around us, Fred," Hermione explained. "Things are going to happen that are going to screw with our life… that are going to force us to grow up and I'm not sure you're prepared to handle that."

"Handle what? I'm not too stupid to realize you are trying to convey something that is happening to you right now. But, alas, I'm too stupid to realize what that is."

Hermione was silent for a moment before she said, "You're not stupid, Fred. Just a bit… confused sometimes."

"Just tell me what's going on. Please."

"Fred," Hermione said. "I'm… I have to go to work."

"God dammit! What the hell is going on!?" I screamed.

"For Christ's Sake, Fred, I'm pregnant!" Hermione screamed. "Are you happy now?"

Actually, no… I was not happy. I was shocked.

"Er…" was all I could say.

"Exactly. Now I have to go to work. Good bye."

"What about dinner tomorrow? With your friends?" That had nothing to do with Hermione's announcement, but it was the only thing I could think of.

"Dinner will go on as planned. I'll see you tonight."

And with that, she had disappeared.

My first thought was, Is it safe to Apparate when pregnant? What if you leave the baby – my baby, Hermione's baby, OUR baby! – behind?

:*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*:

"Ginny, I have to talk to you." 

I had stormed into Ginny's flat she shared with Harry. I needed some advice and Ginny gave the best I knew of without getting _too_ judgmental. Thankfully, Harry was at work.

"What is it, Fred?" Ginny asked, looking worried. "Is Hermione okay?"

"It's the baby I'm worried about!" I yelled. Then clasped my hand over my mouth and mumbled, "Oh, bugger."

But Ginny didn't look shocked. She actually looked a little aggravated.

"So she told you then?" she asked. "And let me guess, you are now going mad?"

"Pretty much!" I said. "She Apparated to work… isn't that dangerous?"

"That's what you are worried about?" Ginny asked, smiling. "The baby?"

"Hell yeah," I said. "It is half me, as far as I'm aware of." 

"You stupid git, of course it's yours!" Ginny cried. "And you're already worried about it! That's so sweet! Oh, Fred, Hermione will be so happy! She was so worried you would be upset over this!"

"Why the bloody hell would I be upset about this?" I asked. "I'm ecstatic. I'm going to be a father! Me! Fred Weasley, Super Dad!"

Ginny jumped up and gave me a huge hug.

"Oh, Fred," Ginny said. "This is so happy. Hermione was worried that you would be upset over it because you had never really shown an interest in children and such. And she wasn't sure what you would think because you aren't married yet and – "

I looked at Ginny and interrupted her, "It doesn't matter what she was worried about. I don't care about that. The only thing _I_ care about is that I am going to be a dad! And you're going to be an aunt!"

"I'm already an aunt," Ginny corrected.

I thought for a moment and said, "Oh, right then. Forgot about Charlie and Bill's kids."

Charlie had one, Michael, and Bill had three: Denise, Jeffrey and Jared.

"Wow… this is so exciting," I mused aloud.

"Are you going to go talk to Hermione now?" Ginny asked.

"Hell no!" I said. "I've got a great Christmas present in mind."

Ginny looked at me suspiciously and I smirked evilly.

:*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*:

I was hiding out in my bedroom when I heard Hermione arrive back home. He didn't call out to say she was home. Damn, she was still pissed off. 

"Hermione," I said solemnly, taking a step into the main room. "I need to see you for a minute."

Hermione looked a little uneasy but came towards me. The second she placed a step into my room, I switched on the lights and yelled, "SURPRISE!"

Hermione gasped as light washed over my room. Correction.

It was the baby's room now. 

The walls were still a light blue color (they always had been, even before I moved in) but instead of my old furniture and clothes strewn about the place, there was a crib, a changing table and some other baby stuff piled into the small room.

"I talked to Ginny today, and then we spent the rest of it going around to stores trying to find the perfect furniture to decorate the baby's room. We might not have done as well as you could, but we tried," I explained.

Hermione walked about the room and paused to twirl the Quidditch mobile I had installed.

"Do you like it?" I asked tentatively.

"Fred, this is… I mean…" Hermione said, still gazing at the room.

I froze up a bit, waiting for her to express what she was thinking.

"Does this mean you're happy?" Hermione asked, turning to me. "About… everything?"

I laughed and walked over to her.

"Hermione, it's you," I said. "Of course I'm happy."

Hermione started to cry. "Dammit," she muttered. "Oh well, you better get used to it, because I'm going to be doing it a lot in the next few months."

I laughed again and I hugged Hermione tightly and kissed her. 

I felt pretty damn good right then and there. My life was actually going to start. I was indeed growing up. All of the fears I had about marriage and maturing before I was ready to… all of it, was just gone. The only thoughts that were swimming through my mind were of Hermione, our wedding and our baby.

But most of those thoughts were filled immediately with fear when Hermione mentioned lightly,

"We're going to have to tell your parents soon."

"No we won't," I said. "They're smart people… sometimes. They'll figure it as soon as your belly starts getting bigger. Or they might just think you're getting grotesquely fat in a short time frame."

Hermione laughed. "I think we should actually tell them."

I whined. "Do we have to? All Mum is going to do is hug you and say how happy she is. Then, after you leave, she's going to smack me upside the head and scream about how irresponsible I am and how Percy was smart enough not to impregnate his girlfriend."

"Fiancée. I'm you're fiancée," Hermione corrected. "You're allowed to do such things to me. And besides, Percy and Caitlin have only been dating for two months."

"Oh, poor naïve Hermione. That will matter not to my mum."

Hermione smiled and placed her head on my shoulder. "I'm sure it'll all work out."

"Eventually," I agreed, then added, "So what are we cooking for dinner tomorrow night?"

Hermione looked puzzled for a moment, then said, "Oh, the dinner! I completely forgot about that!"

I shrugged. "No big deal. Who is all coming?"

"Well," Hermione said, sitting down on the rocking chair I had purchased for the baby. "My friends form home, Caty, Lonnie and Holly, your friends Oliver, Lee and George. Miranda if she has the ability to, although I know they are in Italy, but they can Apparate. Then Ginny of course."

"Of course," I agreed.

"Then Harry I suppose. Ron, cause I'm hoping he and Holly might hit it off a bit." I laughed at Hermione's scheming. "And maybe Caitlin and Percy, just because Caitlin was such a good friend to you from Zonko's."

"Percy?" I said. "You want to invite Big Head Boy Percy?"

"He's your brother," Hermione said. "And there's nothing wrong with being Head Boy."

"Coming from a past Head Girl."

Hermione blushed.

"But it sounds fine," I said. Hermione smiled.

"Good! Because I'm excited," Hermione said. "Now, speaking of the wedding – "

"We were talking about the wedding?" I asked. 

"Oh, hush," Hermione said. "We are now. For the past week I've been doing a lot of thinking about the wedding. I'll need a new dress, for one."

"Why?"

"Because I'll be about five months along and kind of big."

"Oh yeah." Honestly, I had forgotten about the baby for a minute there. Our conversation had jumped around a bit and it slipped my mind.

Boy, am I going to be a great father.

"And also, I need to know who your best man is going to be," Hermione said. "And the rest of them."

"George, best man I guess." I thought for a moment. "Then Oliver, Lee, Percy I guess, Ron, Charlie and Bill as the rest of the guys."

"No Harry?" Hermione asked. 

"I guess," I said. "If you think he should be."

"Well, if that's yours then I need to balance out," Hermione said. She finally got up form the rocking chair and walked quickly into the living room. She pulled out her wedding notebook and began writing.

"So you'll have eight, all together," Hermione said, making some notes. "And I only have four. I need four more."

"How about Aunt Dolores, Herman?" I offered.

"Shut up, Weasel."

I laughed, sitting down on the couch next to her.

"So," Hermione said. "Who else should be my bridesmaids. I have Caty, Holly and Lonnie, Ginny as maid-of-honor. Miranda, I guess. I should get to know her better since she might be family soon. Caitlin, since she's one of your friends. So I need two more…"

"Parvati and Lavender!" I practically yelled.

"What?" Hermione asked.

"Those two girls from Hogwart's. I'm sure they'd probably die if you asked them."

"Oh." Hermione looked a bit pained at the thought of them being in her wedding party. "But I guess. I haven't talked to them in ages. The could have changed."

"Have lunch with them," I said. "Gauge how they are now. Then ask them."

"That's a very intelligent thing to do, Fred," Hermione said. "I think I'll owl them right now. I wonder where they are right now?"

"I bet they're still righteously obnoxious."

"This coming from the man who once catcalled Lavender Brown."

"I was a third year!" I defended. "Plus, she looked nervous. Thought I'd make her feel a bit more confident. George did it too."

Hermione rolled her eyes and said unfortunately, "I guess I should at least owl them. It would be nice to catch up with them."

I nodded wisely.

"So… when are we letting this – " I placed my hand on Hermione's belly. " – little secret out?"

Hermione gave me a look and said, "I thought we were waiting until, and I quote, I got 'grotesquely fat?'"

"Yes, well."

"We could just tell them tomorrow at dinner," Hermione offered.

"But Mum will want to know beforehand," I said. "She'll turn bloody murderous if she wasn't aware of her grandchild before the rest of the world. She has issues."

"So," Hermione said. "Are you saying we should tell her tonight?"

I sighed, not liking the prospective answers.

If I said yes, Mum would be disappointed in me, happy at Hermione. Or, she could think Hermione was, as Ron had put it in their fourth year (according to Hermione), a "Scarlet Woman." Or, Mum could be ecstatic at it all and then tell the entire world. Which wouldn't be fun because I know Hermione and she will want to tell people herself.

But if I said no, Mum would literally beat me into a pulp for keeping this information from her.

And since I don't like being beaten, I said yes.

"How are we going to get there?" I asked.

"Uh… Apparate?" Hermione said, looking at me weirdly.

"Oh, no!" I said, placing my hand on her stomach. "The baby doesn't know how to Apparate. What if you left the baby behind here? Or what if it ended up somewhere else? Do you want our baby to DIE!?" 

Hermione looked at me again and laughed at the expression on my face (a mix of hysteria, anger and worry. Apparently, it's quite funny looking).

"Don't worry," Hermione said, placing her hand over mine on her stomach. "I know for a fact that the baby will never leave this stomach until nine months from now… er… make that seven."

"Seven?" I asked.

"Seven," Hermione repeated.

I nodded.

"You ready?" Hermione asked.

"Honestly?" I asked. "No."

Hermione laughed in a sympathetic sort of way.

"But it's the right thing to do."

"So let's go," she said.

I nodded this time and we Apparated. Well, the appropriate thing to say would be that Hermione Apparated. I didn't. I was scared.

Hermione reappeared a moment later with a frustrated expression.

"Fred," she said warningly.

We Apparated. This time, I did as well. We popped into the kitchen of the Burrow, thoroughly frightening my mum.

"Good Heavens," she said, holding a soapy dish pan over her chest. "Hello you two! How is everything?"

Hermione and I exchanged a look and I said,

"Mum, get Dad. Hermione and I have something important to tell you." 

**Author's Note**: Thanks for the reviews. Also, the descriptions given for family members were perfect but I'm still up for more if you want a cameo. I need a name and a brief description. They won't be used until the wedding chapters, so feel free to give me some up until them. On to my thanks:

**Beau Porteur De Diamant**: You are one of the coolest people on the planet, honestly. I am truly honored to be on your "Favorite Author's" list. That is such an awesome thing, thank you. 

**jaxi**: Thanks for the compliments and review! It is very much appreciated.

**Queen of the Jungle**: I'll try to fit in more of Fred's paraphrasing in at sometime or another. If you can think of a logical placement for the paraphrase, drop me an e-mail or review with the idea. 

**Black Rein**: You know, having someone yell at you when you are drunk is NOT fun. Everything is like, surround sound so it's ten times louder. Though I'm a bit confused: did you like the fact Fred was drunk or not?

**tickle the dragon**: Thanks for putting me on your favorite stories list; very awesome. And I'm glad that Fred and Hermione are in character (at least in your opinion.). Honestly, I never thought of Fred/Hermione as a couple before but now I desperately want them to get together in the books (though I highly doubt it will happen.).

**sweetevangeline**: As before, I'm glad my characters are in character. No problem about the plug (though your thanks are appreciated.). I never mind plugging some righteously cool fellow authors.

**oneiros lykos**: Glad you're not confused anymore. Yes, though he is quite dumb at some times, Fred is still totally lovable. 

**Kirjava**: Things are tense now, and they'll be a bit tense for a while (not with Hermione and Fred, but there will be some parental issues to deal with.). And I will be writing the wedding chapter shortly so I'll write you in.

**Isadora**: You were the first to notice the whole Sneezing Mouse name thing. Bravo. Also, I'm glad you are entertained by funny drunks.

**skittle1528**: Your cameo is noted and I'll be more than happy to include you. Thanks for the good luck.

**Jen Drake**: Thanks for taking the time out to read and review. I'm glad your are enjoying it so much.

**Alizee**: Inebriated. Looks good to me (and my spell check!). Bravo. Thank you immensely for adding me to your "Favorite Authors" list. As I said to Beau Porteur De Diamant, I am very honored to be placed there. Thank you so much!

**Gwen Potter**: I am so immensely looking forward to "The Consequences of Alcohol and Depression" sequel. You just don't even know. Congrats, as said before, on your perceptiveness. Very cool. 

**Sweet Piglet**: Yes, you can be a Weasley relative. I added you to my list. I did write more, though it probably wasn't as soon as you wanted it to be. I'll try REALLY hard to be speedy on chapter six.

**Black Sparkles**: My, aren't we the blunt one. Your review made me laugh really hard. I'm not exactly sure why, but it did. I hope you are enjoying my story.

**Lady Laughs-A-Lot**: Thank you for the compliments and I know what you mean about the quantity of Fred/Hermione stories. There are lots of George ones, but Fred gets very little love. It's sad, really. But I'm glad you like mine!

**eb1981**: Cameo added to the list. Check. Thanks for the review!

**Hannah Holt**: Yay! Another review! Woo! I'm sure you did know what Hermione wanted to say. It wasn't that hard to figure out.

**Befuzzled**: Thanks for the compliments. I always worry about the characterization of Fred and when people tell me I'm doing a good job, I'm happy.

**Alexandra**: No words for my writing!? Wow. That was such a righteous compliment, you don't even know. Also, your cameo is dully noted. I'll add you to my e-mail update list.

**Angelgirl1**: Thanks for the compliment and review. I appreciate them.

**BellethePhilosopher'sCookie**: You know, just for your sarcasm, I am revoking your big gold star. You now get a small SILVER star. I know, I know. Major burn… Just kidding. One more thing, in OOstvogels, were both "O"s supposed to be capitalized? I just need to clarify before I write.

**Muggle Lover**: You can be invited to the wedding, but Oliver already has a girlfriend. I apologize. 

**eudyptulaminor**: Dammit. I really want to know what your name is. Can you give me any hints? Is it an animal? Grr… anyways, I'm glad the suspense is (not) killing you. Thanks for the review.

**gohansfollower**: Well, what Hermione told Fred would have sobered him up. But it all worked out in the end.

**LadyLupin1020**: Thanks for all the compliments. That's really awesome.

**Sunshine Stargirl**: Oh, you were so close. I _was_ thinking of that being her big secret, but decided that this one was a bit more plot involving. Sorry. Also, on your review, you wrote, "Update Son" instead of "Update Soon." That was _so_ funny to me!

**LadyBrannon**: I'm glad you like the "reporter's edge" thing I'm using. I wasn't sure if it sounded like a news article, but I'm glad you think it does. Thanks.

**Tell Them True Stories**: If you are in search of some really good stories, check out my "Favorite Stories" on my member page because I really try hard to only admit the really good ones. But I'm glad you consider mine one of them.

**Young Golden Unicorn**: Thanks for all the compliments and reviews. Coolness.

**Angel**: May I perchance inquire as to what "AGUH" means? I hope it's something good. Thanks. Also, I'm glad I rule.

**dragonbrat**: Thanks for reviewing and giving me the compliments. You rock.

**Quiet One**: Thanks for the name cookie. It was delicious. Anyways, thanks for the compliments and review. Woo-hoo.

**Singtoangels**: I checked out your story, "An Ideal Death Eater" and absolutely fell in love with it. Anyways, I checked out the name thing with Bill's wife, and I couldn't find the name Alexandria in any of my other stories. If you have a specific place where you think you saw it, I'd like to know. Thanks for being observant and letting me know.

Okay, I'm done. Good-bye.


	7. The Weasley Reaction

**Author's Note**: Wow! Obviously, you all love my story exactly the way it is. (Gives me the warm-fuzzies all over.) So, due to that overwhelming reaction, I'm just going to leave my story as is with maybe a few passing references to …_Order of the Phoenix_ and some cameos from characters such as Luna Lovegood and Tonks. But that's it. Also, I'm playing the Parent Weasleys a little… out of context. I don't think they'd truly act this way, but for the means of this story, they are big on "moral values." (Notice the parenthesis usage.) So please don't complain that the Weasley reaction is OoC because I know. Anyways, the moment you've been waiting for…

Wait! I realized I've been forgetting disclaimers even though you all know that I don't own it. But for legality reasons, I do not own Harry Potter or anything so affiliated with it.

:*: **6 – The Weasley Reaction** :*:

"What is it, Fred?" Mum asked me, concerned.

"Just get Dad, will you?" I said again.

Mum paused for a moment, then left the room and called out "Arthur!" who joined them in the kitchen shortly thereafter.

"Is everything all right, Molly?" he asked, then seeing Hermione, said, "Hello, Fred, Hermione."

"Hullo, Dad," I said back, feeling my throat closing up on me. I couldn't tell them. I just couldn't. They may be pretty open when it comes to blood and all, but mostly they are traditional when it comes to basic family values.

"Fred, are you two okay?" he asked again.

Hermione and I nodded.

"So what do you need to tell us?" Mum asked, not reassured at all.

At this point, I was wondering where the Fred was that unabashedly screamed out, "we're getting hitched" at Hermione's parents house. I mean, how hard could it have been to say, "Hermione's having a baby?" 

I'd say, pretty damn hard as long as Mum was holding that dish pan.

"Can I have that, Mum?" I asked, indicating the dish pan.

She looked at me oddly but handed the pan over to me. Now I had the defensive weapon.

"Molly, Arthur," Hermione said. "Fred and I have wonderful news."

Mum's face fell. "You two didn't elope, did you? I couldn't bear it if another one of my children did that. Will I ever get to sit and watch one of my babies get married?"

"No, Mum, that's not it," I said hastily, really not wanting the tears to come.

"Because that would be so much like you, Fred," she wailed, tears on their merry way down her cheeks. "Totally disregarding your mother's feelings for one night of fun. You did it all the time at school."

"Molly, calm down," Dad said, patting her on the shoulder.

Hermione looked at me, wondering about where to go from here.

"So – er – " I began idiotically. I needed a way to say it without actually saying it. A way to _imply_ it.

"You're going to have another grandchild," Hermione said, preempting my thoughts.

Mum and Dad both froze. Then, Mum said,

"So you did elope."

"Er… no." I looked down at my shoes.

Look at that, I was still in my slippers.

"Then how did this happen?" Mum asked. "Fred, I thought you more responsible than this."

"Hermione, maybe you ought to leave," I said, taking her hand.

"But – "

I interrupted her and continued, "I don't know what Mum and Dad are going to say and I don't think you should have to listen to them yell at me. Neither should the baby. Bloody good impression that will make."

Hermione looked at me, then at my parents (Mum who was about to burst – with what emotion was yet to be determined) and gave me a kiss.

"I'll see you at home," she said quietly.

"Bye," I said, watching her pop away. I then turned back to my parents, but before I could say anything, Mum began screeching.

"Fred Weasley! Though you don't have a good responsibility track record, I would think you would know not to get her pregnant. Honestly, what will her parents think of us? You impregnating their daughter OUT OF WEDLOCK!"

"Who cares what her parents think?" I countered. "We love each other and we already love the baby. Who gives a damn what other people think?"

"That is besides the point," Mum said dismissively. "But I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised. You and George were always ones to do something stupid and not think about the consequences. Percy would never have done something like this."

I had been expecting this. I was not, however, expecting the rage that would engulf me into saying what I said.

"Percy almost _did_ do this!" 

Mum gasped and Dad, who was awfully silent, grasped her shoulders.

"Why do you think Penelope and Percy broke up right after their seventh year? Because Penelope had a pregnancy scare! How's that!? Your perfect prefect son is just the same as me!"  
And then, to add insult to injury, the anger caused me to get into a deeper pile of sit than I was already in.

"And you want to know something else, Mum? I mean, I should say this now since you're already just so disappointed in me."

"Fred, maybe you should calm down," Dad finally said.

"Hermione wasn't even the first girl I've had sex with! How do you like that?"

Mum's eyes got all wide.

"In my seventh year… with a SLYTHERIN!"

Mum wailed loudly and Dad hugged her.

"Fred, maybe you should go," Dad said quietly, hugging Mum.

"No!" I yelled back. "I want to talk about all of this! Mum obviously has a problem with my future wife and I wanting to have a baby! What should we do, huh, Mum? Get rid of it? No!"

"That's not what I am saying, Fred and you know that," Mum replied through tears. "I'm just worried – "

"About what!?"

"That you aren't mature enough to handle a child!" she said.

I froze, then after a few seconds, replied, "Not mature enough!? What do you think I'm doing right now? I'm fighting for this child which shows I love and want it. If that's not mature, then what is?"

Mum was silent.

"You know what?" I said. "I'm going to leave. And I do not want you contacting me until you realize that I am old enough and mature enough to move on with my life. You got that?"

"Don't do this, Fred," Dad said, still holding Mum.

"What else should I do, Dad? What else could I possibly do to make you two realize that I am not a child anymore?"

As they stood there in silence, I took that as my cue and Disapperated home. Hermione tried talking to me, but I simply put my hand up to cut her off and promptly fell asleep trying not think of what I had said to my parents.

:*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*:

I was woken up the next morning by yelling – half of which was Hermione's. The other half I was vaguely aware of, seeing as how I was usually on the receiving side.

"Percy," I said. "What are you doing?"

He turned to me, face absolutely livid, and walked straight up to me, looked me in the eye… and then I fell backwards with a stinging sensation on my right eye.

Percy – Perfect, Prefect Percy, Big Head Boy extraordinaire – had punched me.

"You stupid bastard!" Percy screamed at me. "Where do you get off telling Mum all about Penelope and I?"

"Where do you come off storming into my home, yelling at my pregnant fiancé and then punching me in the bloody nose?"

"Calm down," Hermione said to both of us.

"You think you're so above me, Fred," Percy continued. "All because you think you have so much more fun than I. Being so frivolous is a curse, not a blessing."

"And being a wanker with a huge stick up your ass," I replied. "Is fun?

"At least I'm a wanker with a huge stick up his ass that respects his mother and doesn't yell at her and make her feel like the worst person on the face of the planet!" Percy yelled back.

I smirked in approval. He never has had good comebacks before.

"Stop smiling," Percy said. "Apologize to Mum."

"No!" I yelled. "She had no right to say all of that to me."

"And you had no right to say what you said to her," he replied coolly.

"Percy," I said extremely frustrated. "You don't understand. I'm sick of not being seen as an adult. I make my own decisions and I will handle them myself."

"If you want to be an adult, you don't go off tattling on your older brothers. That was an easy out and you know it," Percy said, still positively fuming.

"Fred," Hermione said.

"Not now, Hermione," I said offhandedly, turning back to Percy. "And what? Not telling Mum that _you_ were almost a father in your seventh year is a mature thing to do?"

"That's a completely different situation!" he yelled. "The main difference being that I _didn't_ get her pregnant. It was a scare and something I decided not to tell Mum out of respect. Something maybe you should show for her every now and then."

"I – "

"Don't you even dare say you respect Mum because damn well better know that you don't!" Percy screamed.

"Fred," Hermione said again.

"Not now!" I said to her, a little more loudly than I meant to.

"You don't even have respect for the girl you claim to love. What does that say about you?" Percy asked.

"It says that you're being a tosser and making me so mad that I yell at Hermione!"

"So now you're blaming it on me?" Percy asked.

"Oh, just stuff it, Perce," I yelled back.

"You're turning your back on your family," he said. "How could you do that? Mum has always been there for you and now you're betraying her."

"DON'T CALL WHAT I'M DOING AS BETRAYAL!" I roared. "I'm fighting for my family, the woman and child that I love, all right? And I don't think that you of all people want to talk about betraying our family, you stupid son of a bitch."

There was a ringing silence. I was almost expecting Percy to hit me again.

"Fred," Hermione said yet again.

"What?" I said, finally turning to look at her.

She was clutching her abdomen.

"Hermione?" I asked, suddenly feeling worry instead of anger. "Are you okay?"

Hermione doubled over a bit and groaned.

"Fred," she said.

I quickly grabbed onto her so she didn't fall.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"I don't know," she said. "I just went to the bathroom and when I came out, my abdomen started hurting… really bad. Fred, what if something is wrong with the baby?"

"Nothing is wrong with the baby," I said, soothingly running my hand over her hair. "You're going to be fine. Maybe a spot of food poisoning."

"No, Fred," she said. "This doesn't feel like – "

She let out another long groan of pain and I said to Percy, "Call the hospital!"

Percy ran to the fire and threw some powder onto it and told the receptionist at St. Mungo's to send a car over a fast as she could. Almost five seconds later, there was a knock on the door and Percy opened it to reveal three paramedics.

"What seems to be the problem?" one of them said.

"She's in a lot of pain," I responded. "We're worried about the baby."

"Are you pregnant, Miss?" another one asked.

"What do you think I meant when I said we're worried about the baby!?" I screamed.

"Sir, you are going to have to calm down."

"What's wrong with her?" I asked.

"We're going to have to take her in to an obstetrician. DO you already have one?"

"No," Hermione said between wheezes of pain.

"All right," the paramedic said.

He magic-ed a stretcher which he helped Hermione onto and then led the three of us down to two cars: one for Hermione and the medics and another for Percy and I.

We quickly got in and the cars took off towards the hospital while I wished I could be in the same car as Hermione, holding her hand.

:*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*:

Percy and I had been sitting in the waiting room for nearly twenty minutes before a doctor finally came out to tell us what was going on.

"Miss Granger is going to be just fine," she said, causing very relieved sighs to escape Percy and my mouths.

"What was wrong?" I asked.

The doctor pulled out his charts and said, "It seems that she developed a cyst on her uterus. It's a very common and treatable occurrence and I prescribed some antibiotics to take the pain away. The actual cyst will go away in five to seven days."

"So she'll be okay?" I asked.

"She'll be just fine," the doctor reassured. "The pain she experienced probably gave her a fright, but I preformed an ultrasound and your baby is doing just fine."

"Can I see her?" I asked.

The doctor nodded. "I'll lead you to her room."

"Percy," I said before leaving. "You want to contact Harry and the family, tell them Hermione had to go to the hospital, but she's one hundred percent fine?"

"Of course," Percy said, nodding.

"All right," I said. I felt like I should ask to see where Percy and I stood on the fight level, if we were still angry at one another or what, but I figured that Hermione was a little more important at this point and time.

"Hermione?" I said quietly as I opened the door to her room.

She was sitting up right in her hospital bed, smiling happily. I quickly walked over to her and gave her a light hug and a kiss.

"How are you?" I asked.

She sighed. "A little dazed. But the baby is all right, and that's what matters."

"Is there anything I could do for you to make it better?" I asked. "Call your friends? Family? Get you some food? Set off a Dung Bomb in some random patient's room?"

"No," she said, laughing. "I think I'll be just fine."

"I could do a happy little jig for you," I offered, shimmying my feet in a pathetic attempt at one of those classic Irish dances.

Hermione snorted with laughter, so my mission was accomplished.

"I think I'll be fine. The doctor has to get one more test result back and then I'm free to go."

"So you don't' have to stay over night?" I asked.

"Unless she finds something grossly out of whack."

"I'm sure everything is… er… in whack," I said, sitting down on the bed with her and taking her hand.

Hermione laughed again and asked, "Do you want to know the sex of the baby?"

"They can tell already?"

"Apparently so," Hermione said. "So would you like to know?"

I shrugged.

"Doesn't matter," I said. "Because no matter what it is, it'll be named Fred Weasley Junior."

Hermione scoffed.

"It will not," she said.

"Then what?"

Hermione looked at me weirdly. I gave her a look back.

"Like you've yet to think about this? You probably know _exactly_ what you want to name it," I responded.

Hermione looked down and mumbled, "Bartholomew." 

"I am not having a child named Bartholomew!" I said. "All the other kids would call him 'Farty Barty.'"

"The other kids?" Hermione asked, raising her eyebrows.

"All right," I conceded. "I would call him 'Farty Barty.' But still, I don't think our child deserves that."

"Farty Barty," Hermione laughed. "Honestly."

**Author's Note**: All right. So there are allusions to …_Order of the Phoenix_ in this chapter but that's all that there will be throughout the story. I'm still going to keep the character killed off in Book 5 in this story (won't show up until the wedding) because I liked that character and they are still going to be in my story dammit! Time for the thanks but since I have so many responses for both chapters six and the note I left (which will be up for awhile just so you don't get a "You cannot review the same chapter twice" message) I can't really say individual thanks without taking up monstrous space. But I will anyways.

**Quiet One **(x2): You're cameo is added to my list of characters. Awesome.

**Spordelia Chase **(x2): I think most people had the same Idea. I did too until my pre-wedding pregnant plot idea came about. And there is no cliff hanger this time around. Just some inane ramblings.

**Isadora **(x2): You don't have to leave big nice reviews. Little nice ones like this are just fine.

**Singtoangels**: Definetly keep me posted about your Fred/Hermione fic. I am very intrigued and since, of course, you wrote it, it will be excellent. 

**Queen of the Jungle **(x2): Sorry I didn't use your ideas for telling Molly what was up. Maybe when Hermione's parents find out, I'll have him say that because we all know that Fred is a bit of a moron when around her family.

**BellethePhilosopher'sCookie **(x2): Bummer about the library book and mouse extravaganza. Hope your life has improved since then.

**StRaWbErRiEs AnD BlUeBeRrIeS**: You changed your name, didn't you? Threw me through quite a loop, I'll have you know. Also, when you wrote "Update Son" instead of "Update Soon" I was amused because I was just like, "Son? What the hell?" I was just a moron, I apologize.

**Gwen Potter **(x2): Hooray for "Consequences…" sequel! And happy sixteenth. I'm not sure if naming is going to be an issue. I think it'll just be one of those things. Hell, I wasn't named for a few hours after I was born. You'll find out the child's name soon enough.****

**LadyBrannon **(x2): No beating, no scarlet woman. Hope you are not disappointed with this "episode."

**Pendragon**: I quite liked your review. Complements are always appreciated. Thanks for yours.

**Lady Laughs-A-Lot** (x2): As I said to Spordelia Chase, I tghink most everyone expected the baby to come after the wedding. But I began thinking, four months until the wedding, nine for the baby… I'd begin to run out of hilarious plot ideas for Fred.

**dragonbrat** (x2): Thanks for all the compliments and yes, Molly would most definetly kill Fred if she wasn't in the know about the baby.

**Angelwings**: There are so many amazing Fred/Hermione and George/Hermione stories out on this site. If you want some, go to my "Favorite Stories" list and check out some of the ones I've got archived.

**Black Rein** (x2): Yes, people do get drunk and people say stupid things when drunk. It's a whole big vicious cycle. Thanks for the review.

**Beau Porteur De Diamant**: Weasley's reaction you have, next chapter is the Granger family reaction with a lovely appearance by Aunt Dolores. Fred is _so_ going to get it.

**Tell Them True Stories** (x2): Your big review didn't show up and that saddens me a lot because it was one of the nicest reviews ever. Oh well, I'm still recognizing it.

**clare**: Yes, I was putting it off until …_Order of the Phoenix_ came out. But it's out and now I'm updating. Hooray for me. Glad you are liking this story so much (as well as "D.S.P.")

**Hollie** (x2): Thanks for your story suggestions. I've yet to check them out but I will… I promise. Also, I've got your cameo down.

**Lady MacBeth**: Here it is. Thanks for the review.

**Alexandra**: "dully noted" means that I've recorded that you have a cameo and you'll be in the story a little later in. I'm trying not to have out right spoilers in my story. There might be mentions of events in …_Order of the Phoenix_ but they will be so brief that you won't even realize that it was a spoiler. I'm sorry you have to wait for August to come to get the book.

**gem of hearts**: go go go, review review! Wee!!!!!!! Sorry, don't quite know what all that was. Thanks for the review, though.

**Smudged** (x2): Thanks for the review. I hope Molly's reaction was to your liking.

And to all the people who answered my plot questions, which includes all of the people with a (x2) next to their name and the following: 

**Kat19**, **ali** (x2), **ria** **snape**, **Befuzzled**, **Muggle** **Lover** (x2), **EternalCorruption**, **XoXoXo**, **LilyWonder**, **queenkell25**, **Regn** **Hino**, **animegirl-mika**, **JosiahGirl**, **Purple** **Orchid**, **Jessie**, **hm…**, 

**Angelbach**, **CrackHead**, **Kris**, **Andshefalls**, **rockersbb13**, **oneiros** **lykos**, **Crimson**, **Melissa**, **Annzter**, and **Lyn** plus the people who e-mailed me: **Hannah Holt** and **sweetevangeline**. Thanks to you all for caring enough about my story to tell me what to do with it.

One last thing: If you are completely and utterly devastated by the character death in _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_, I STRONGLY suggest going to read AriaStar's fic entitled: "Always There." It is a beautiful story and offers a lot of hope for future books. WARNING: Contains spoilers of a large quality.

See you all later with chapter seven: The Granger Reaction.


	8. The Granger Reaction

**Author's Note**: Before I say anything else, I realized that I have not been doing disclaimers of any nature for this story. So:

I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER!

That applies to all previous chapters and any other in the future in which I might forget to mention that fact. And, since I've failed to do this prior to this chapter, I need to give big thanks, big cookies and big gold stars to all the **FIFTY-NINE** (!!!) people that placed me on their "Favorite Authors" list. This includes (by order of appearance on my "Stats" file): Young Golden Unicorn, Faith, Lady Laughs-A-lot, Crimson2, Tsuki Fa, lazylady, Riar Allie, Padme87, Regn Hino, simple plan gc fan, Gryffindor Heiress, PhoenixMember15, Sailor Seasons, kella, Joana Banana, moondust, Hannah Holt, The Adorable kitten Fluffy, gohansfollower, Kirjava, keepergrl28914, Absimilis, Carebear 19, Kat, Confused but Well, gteegrl, Dreamer22, Alizee, Fawkes, Bananafairy, Miss Invisable, SaveTheLastDance4Me, the Queen of Books, HogwartsHeadGirl, Alexandra, Suzanne, Kat19, Roxie Potter, Gilraen Telemnar, Wilma Love, Lady Macbeth, MuggleLover, sweetevangeline, b0ing, surfngurl, Beau Porteur De Diamant, Angelgirl1, BellethePhilopsopher'sCookie, Tell Them True Stories, dragonbrat, Spordelia Chase, gem of hearts, hp-obsessed, clare, littletofrog, Gryffindork, green smurf, Lady Weasley and Cezy Angel. Thanks to you all so much!

This chapter was supposed to be up earlier, but I was getting "The Page Cannot Be Displayed" message for FanFiction.Net. But I finally did it and here it is! WEEE!

:*:** 7 – The Granger Reaction **:*:

As predicted, Hermione was released form the hospital in about forty-five minutes in complete health. Needless to say, we were all very relieved.

I was still on needles with Percy. He stopped yelling at me, and I at him… but it was still quite tense when we were in the room together. As for Mum, I haven't talked to her yet today so I guess she took my words to heart and didn't think I was able to have a child, young as I was.

I guess now would be a good time to release a secret that is quite callous and something I wouldn't normally admit:

I wasn't sorry for what I said.

Yes, I made my mum cry, my dad feel (probably) really angry with me and alienated myself from my family which up until that moment, had been the most important thing in my life.

Another thought that had crossed my mind was that, though I had alienated myself from the old family, Hermione and I were about to have a family of our own; and that's when I realized that we had yet to tell Hermione's parents what was going on.

"We should tell them," Hermione said quietly when I brought it up the next day. "But we have the dinner tonight. Should we tell them?"

I looked at the clock on the wall.

"We have the whole day, Hermione," I responded. "Dinner isn't until the evening."

Hermione looked down at her stomach and lightly brushed her fingers over it.

"Hermione," I said tenderly, taking her hands and looking her in the eyes. "What happened with my family is not going to happen with yours. Of course, your dad might beat me into a sodding pulp, but at least your mum won't get all… mad."

Hermione nodded.

"Then let's tell them," she said. "And hey! If they do get mad, at least we'll get it over with."

"That's the spirit!" I said cheerily. "So, we'll get disowned from your family and then have a dinner party! This is the best day ever!"

Hermione laughed and put on her coat, as did I.

"We're not going to get disowned. My Mum will be ecstatic… my father, well. He might be a bit shirt towards you for a bit, but once he sees how happy I am he'll be okay. Also, you're not going to bow out before leaving again, are you?" Hermione asked.

I smirked guiltily.

"Not anymore."

"Fred Weasley, you are too much."

I smirked again. 

:*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*:

"Mum?" Hermione said as she opened the front door. "Dad?"

"Hermione?" her father's voice called out from what I believed to be the living area. My thoughts were confirmed when Hermione led me through her house and we were planted in front of her father. He was in a picture-esque father pose: sitting in the big, comfy chair reading the newspaper and drinking some coffee. He got out of his big chair, however, when Hermione walked in.

"Hello, Hermione," he said, giving her a big fatherly bear hug. Lucky bitch. I got a big fatherly yelling at.

"Where's Mum?" Hermione asked as her father released her.

"She's out in the garden," he said. "You want to go get her? I need to have a talk with Fred for a moment."

Oh, bloody Hell.

Hermione gave a semi-amused, semi-fearful look towards me (which, I might add, didn't help my own mind-numbing fear) and headed out to the garden to get her mother.

"Sit down, Fred," Jeffrey Granger said in a pleasant voice.

"Er…" I said. "You're not going to yell at me, are you? Because if you are, I'm just going to leave."

Jeffrey laughed and said, "not at all, son. Just sit down."

I nodded and sat down.

"I just want to thank you," he said, surprising me. I must have looked it too, for he laughed a bit before continuing on. "You have made my daughter so happy. Ever since she wrote us home to tell about how the two of you got together, she has been in such high spirits. We, as in her mother and I, know that there were some dark times in, er, your world. The wizarding world. We also knew that Hermione was under a lot of stress and fear from being of Muggle parentage. We don't know a lot of the details – Hermione wishes for us not to know and we're okay with that. The point is, Fred, that throughout all of that, she still had a small little glow in her eyes and a bounce in her step. And her mother and I believe that's from you. You treat her well, you make her laugh and most importantly, you love her."

"I always will, sir."

Sir? Who the hell was I talking to? Dumbledore?

"I know," Jeffrey said. "I can tell that you mean it. And I know that she means it too."

I smiled and heard the back door open and shut, Hermione's voice following.

"Dad," she called. "When I get in there, Fred better be alive."

"Don't worry, I am," I replied. 

She walked in a second later with her mum, Fiona.

"So what did you two talk about?" Fiona asked.

"Nothing at all important," Jeffrey responded.

Hermione smiled happily.

I however, suddenly felt very guilty. Here are these two parents who love their daughter so much and they respect me and know that I would never do anything to harm their daughter… one minor detail.

"I knocked her up!" I wailed loudly.

Three shocked Granger faces whipped quickly towards me.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Granger," I began. "But I love her so much and you know people who are in love they do stuff sometimes and sometimes other stuff comes out of it and I'm so sorry because I shouldn't have ever touched her and I feel horrible especially after what you said but this makes us happy I understand if you want to kill me now."

I said all of this very fast and very loudly and I still had three very confused Granger faces on me. Hermione's was the only one that was beet red.

Jeffrey and Fiona's were the only ones that had huge smiles plastered upon their faces.

"Hermione," her mother said. "Is this true? Are you going to have a baby?"

Hermione looked up, afraid of a Weasley reaction-type response and said in mouse-sized voice, "yes."

Fiona and Jeffrey looked at one another and immediately swooped their daughter up their arms.

"Oh, Hermione. This is wonderful!" Jeffrey called.

"Really?" Hermione asked, squished between her two parents. "You're not angry with us? I mean, we're not married and we're really young and – "

"Dammit, Hermione," I said, finally coming out of the stupor that had encased me after my big ramble. "They're happy for us! Don't try to talk them out of it!"

The three laughed and opened their arms to welcome me into their family hug. I guess that meant I was officially part of the family.

"Have you told anyone else yet?" Jeffrey questioned, still looking very happy for the two of us.

Hermione and I looked at one another warily and I said, "my parents."

I'm sure that by the looks of our faces, we told that my parents weren't as happy with the bundle of joy because they asked no more questions about my parents. Instead, they invited us to stay for dinner.

"Oh," I said. "We'd really like to, but Hermione has scheduled a little dinner party with some friends. We actually should be going."

"Tomorrow night, then?" Fiona asked. "We'll call some family and friends over. However, I do think I'll tell them beforehand of why we're having them over. Fred, you seem to have an interesting way of telling our family important news."

My ears got hot and I nodded sheepishly.

"We'll definetly be here tomorrow, Mum," Hermione said, taking my hand. "Bye Mum, Dad."

"Bye, Hermione. See you tomorrow night, Fred."

I waved and we Disapperated. 

:*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*:

"Oh, God," Hermione said when we popped back into the flat. "They're happy! Oh that's so – OH MY GOD! Look at the time. I told everyone to be here at five thirty. It's five fifteen. We can't cook anything in fifteen minutes!"

"But," I said. "We are wizards, Hermione. We can _conjure_ things up in about fifteen seconds."

Hermione brightened and bustled into the kitchen and found and spell cooking book and said some incantations. In a matter of seconds, the dining table had twenty two place settings on it. I quickly did some in-head math and asked Hermione, 

"Why are there eight extra place settings?"

"Well," Hermione said. "You were right about needing two extra bridesmaids so I thought I should invite Parvati and Lavender over. Then I began thinking about what my other acquaintances from Hogwart's were doing so I invited Dean. Seamus and Neville over. Then the three girls you used to hang out with, Angelina, Alicia and Katie, popped into my mind so… It should make for some interesting conversation."

"Especially for Ron since he dated Lavender in his seventh year."

"Oh, right. Oh well, this is my party not Ron's."

"We're shafting Ron. I like this party already."

"Oh shut up," Hermione said, moving some conjured dinner over to the table. It appears that we were having spaghetti and salad for dinner. Delicious. 

The doorbell rang signaling the arrival of our first guests. I figured it was Hermione's friends because wizards wouldn't ring the doorbell or knock. They would just pop right in… which is going to be a problem if the Apparate in while Muggles are present.

Hermione walked back in the room with three girls in tow. "Fred," she said. "These are my close friends and three of my bridesmaids. Caty," she said, pointing to a blonde with blue eyes. "Holly," she said next pointing to a red-head with brown eyes, "And Lonnie," she said, pointing to a brunette with rainbow streaks in her hair and brown eyes. "Meet Fred, my fiancé."

"Hey," I said. They all smiled and said hello back.

"So, Hermione," the blonde – Caty – asked. "Who else is all coming? Boys, perhaps?"

"Lord, Caty! Is that all you ever think about?" the rainbow-streaked – Lonnie – asked.

"You should hear her, Hermione," the red-head, Holly, said. "She's constantly talking about how she's in need of a good shag."

I snorted with laughter.

"What?" Hermione asked.

"Just funny, that's all," I replied, voice full of mirth.

Holly was about to reply, but there was a loud "THUMP" outside. I opened are front door and there was Oliver, Lee, Katie, Angelina and Alicia all rubbing parts of their body as if pained in a serious manner. I, once again, began laughing.

"What did you do?" I asked.

"I guess we all tried to Apparate to the same place at the same time," Katie replied. "Got all banged up on the dismount, though. Anyways, FRED!" she squealed, getting up and giving me a huge hug. Angelina and Alicia followed suit. I saw Oliver and Lee exchange amused looks and so they squealed out (quite sarcastically) "FRED!" and joined the throng.

Hermione came out to the hallway and when Angelina saw her, released me and went to give Hermione a big hug. Katie and Alicia followed her and soon another giant group hug was in progress.

"So," Alicia asked. "How are you two? The wedding is so close!"

"I know," Hermione said. "And we still aren't done planning for it. Fred isn't too helpful on the wedding plans. All he wants to be in charge of is showing up to the wedding."

"If I were planning the wedding," I responded. "We wouldn't be dressing up. We'd be allowed to come in our denim trousers and t-shirt if we so desired."

"I think Fred should plan the wedding," Lee nominated.

"I second that," Oliver agreed. Angelina whapped him on the shoulder. "I hate tuxedos."

"No, you'll be wearing a navy blue suit, Oliver. I have the designs already picked out. Oh, that reminds me, Fred – "

"Hermione," I interrupted. "This dinner… thing was supposed to be about hanging out with old friends and new and having them get to know one another. Not have endless discussions about the wedding plans."

"Right," Hermione said, nodding.

"She won't shut up about the damn wedding," I explained to the crowd of people whom, oddly enough, were still standing in the hallway (Hermione's friends were in the doorway). "Endless yammering. It's another sign of – "

"Fred Weasley. If you mention wedding dementia one more time I am going to hex you," Hermione warned.

I was about to respond, but soon came three screams from inside the apartment. I looked over and Lonnie, Caty and Holly were looking mighty scared by something in the apartment. Then I heard George's voice.

"Hey, you three Hermione's old mates?" he asked. 

"Where did they come from?" Holly asked Hermione. "They just sort of appeared in your flat!"

"Oh, right! Muggles," George said. "Forgot about that. Sorry. Well, er… Miranda and I were here earlier. We just… er… were in the bathroom and er…"

"Both of you?" Caty asked suspiciously.

"Well," George responded. "You've got to be in a private location for an impromptu shag, you know."

"George!" Miranda chastised. "Lei sono incredibile."

"Dolente. Ma sono Muggles. Che altro sono stato supposto per dire?"

"Non che avevamo il sesso nella sua stanza da bagno del fratello! Onestamente!" Miranda retorted, giving George a look. Then she turned to the rest of us and said, "Ciao. I am Miranda."

"We figured," Lee responded. "Didn't think George would be shagging someone that wasn't his girlfriend. Though there was that one time in seventh year…"

"No," Alicia said. "That wasn't someone other than his girlfriend. That was someone else's girlfriend."

Angelina looked a little playful and replied to Alicia, "yes. It was Katie if I'm not mistaken." 

"Angelina!" Katie said.

"George," Oliver said, turning a bit red. "You shagged my girlfriend… behind my back?"

"You said you needed a break from me," Katie responded angrily. "I was upset and George was there for me and not being some stupid, pompous Quidditch player."

"Doesn't give you a right to shag other guys!" Oliver yelled.

"WE WERE ON A BREAK!" Katie screamed.

"Oh, this is classic," Angelina muttered.

Thankfully, a diversion was made in the form of my brother Ron popping in… quite literally.

Did I mention he popped in right on top of Lonnie?

Lonnie fell. Ron fell on top of her. Lonnie screamed. Ron stood up. Lonnie screamed. Holly helped Lonnie up. Lonnie looked at Ron. Ron smiled. Lonnie fainted.

It was a whole big, amusing scene… especially when Hermione began yelling at Ron.

"What did I tell you?" she hissed. "My friends from before Hogwart's were coming to dinner tonight! Do you know what that means, don't you? They are Muggles! You don't just Apparate into a place with Muggles, you imbecile!"

"Sorry, Hermione," Ron said, turning a very bright red. "I forgot."

"Obviously," came another voice from the doorway. It was Ginny, with Harry on her arm.

"We took the bus!" Ginny exclaimed. "Muggle transportation. It was so exciting. We told Ron not to Apparate because _we_ remembered about your friends being here and we didn't want to break about a thousand laws."

Caty and Holly were standing far away from everyone else, holding up Lonnie who was still passed out. They both were looking very amused by all of this with just a small bit of shock.

"Well, this must be the right place," said an unrecognizable female voice from the hallway. "I don't know anyone other than a Weasley that would be causing _this_ much commotion."

Soon, two vaguely familiar, yet unidentifiable girls walked in. They were almost immediately pegged as Lavender and Parvati because when they walked in, the squealed, "Hermione!"

They ran over and the three girls shared a big hug.

"We were so excited when we got your letter!" Parvati exclaimed. "In fact, Lavender and I had just talked about how we never are in touch with our old Hogwart's friends. And with the wedding coming up! It's so exciting. It's so good to see you, isn't it, Lavender?"

Lavender, however, was smirking at Ron.

"Hello, Lavender," Ron choked.

"Why hello, Ron. How nice to see you," Lavender said pleasantly. Noticing his gawking stare, Lavender commented, "Oh, I see you've noticed my new figure. Well, I tried a great diet and now look at me! A size two, can you believe it? Although, extra-small shirts don't really fit around my bust, which as you can tell, stayed the same as it used to be."

"What are you going on about?" Ginny asked.

"Didn't your brother tell you?" Lavender asked. Ginny shook her head. "Why, Ron here broke up with me in seventh year because I was getting fat!'"

"Ron!" said about every girl in the room.

"How could you!?" Hermione cried. "Breaking up with a girl because she's too fat."

"That's not what I said!" Ron defended, then turned to Lavender. "You asked if you looked to fat in the dress robes you were wearing and I said it seemed to be pulling at the side seams a bit. I didn't want you to go somewhere then have your robes burst open! And then you got all outraged with me and yelled at me for so long that I broke up with you. I was sick of your god damn harping!"

Lavender looked about ready to burst and soon started laughing like a loon.

"I just love seeing you get mad, Ron," she cackled. "You're face gets so red! I've missed it for so long."

Ron's red face quickly turned to a pale white, then back to a deep red when he noticed that everyone else in the room was laughing at him too.

At this point, I would like to say that this dinner was turning out to be one of the most entertaining experiences of my life. I couldn't wait until Percy got here and found out that Ron Apparated onto a Muggle. Percy will be _so_ mad.

"Anyway." Parvati smiled. "Seamus and Dean are parking the car and waiting for Neville. They didn't trust that he'd be able to get upstairs in one piece."

"You two came you them, then?" Hermione asked.

"Not as dates or anything," Lavender commented. "We all got together right after you sent us the invites and decided it'd be much more logically for us to arrive together."

Hermione nodded. A few seconds later, three men whom I assumed were Neville, Seamus and Dean walked into the flat and began chatting happily with everyone else in the room. I thought I should give them some sort of award or something. You know, for being to only guests that didn't cause some horrendous scene after they walked in. 

Soon, Percy and Caitlin arrived. Percy quickly told me that while he's still a bit angry with what happened the day prior, he wasn't going to hold a grudge and that we'd just never speak of it again. I began talking with Caitlin about how Zonko's was doing and Percy, as predicted, began criticizing Ron about breaking the Magic in Front of Muggles laws. Ron was turning all shades of colors. Quite funny, really.

Hermione had made her way over Caty, Holly and the now-awake Lonnie and was apologizing most profusely to her three friends for all the calamity of the party so far.

"Hermione," Lonnie said. "I'm fine. It was just a bit of a shock, you know, having some random bloke landing on your head. I'm fine, really."

"God, Hermione," Holly added. "We're not idiots. We know that you're a witch."

Hermione coughed and sputtered a bit.

"Your mum told us ages ago," Caty added. "We were always wondering about your school and eventually your mum just told us. Not that big of a deal. I assume the rest of the people in here are magical as well?"

I, overhearing this conversation, took this as a perfect opportunity to pull out my wand and set of a rainbow of sparks that shot about the room.

"Dammit, Fred," Percy said angrily. "You broke the Decree for Wizardry #123 for using magic in front of Muggles."

I rolled my eyes ad made the sparks disappear.

"That was so cool," Caty said. "Do something else!"

"I'm afraid," I replied. "That if I do, my brother Percy here might have a heart attack."

George got the hint, pulled out his wand, and soon my flat's living room was identical to something of an island paradise. Palm trees, sand on the floor, ukulele music playing softly in the background.

"You could at least close the door!" Percy yelled. 

Lee took out his wand and closed the door with a spell. Percy turned purple.

"Percy, breathe," Caitlin said soothingly. "It's not a big deal. They know about it already so it's not going to kill anyone if they get a bit of a show." Then she whispered something in Percy's ear.

Caitlin must be one persuasive girl because Percy got a pink tinge in his cheeks. But he didn't say anything about the use of magic for the rest of night.

Speaking of which, the rest of the night went swimmingly. We decided to keep the tropical theme in the room and we ate our dinner and had pleasant conversation. Parvati and Lavender accepted Hermione's invite to become bridesmaids. Hermione and I, after we retired to the couches and comfy chairs, told our friends about the upcoming bundle of joy and everyone was very happy for us. Percy, Ron, Ginny and Harry all agreed to try and get Mum to see that Hermione and I were ready for it. All in all, it was a great night.

After everyone had left, Hermione and I turned the apartment back right and cleaned up. 

"I think that went well, don't you?" I asked.

Hermione softly laughed. "Now, once we get through tomorrow nights dinner, we'll be in the clear."

"Tomorrow nights dinner?" I asked, then remembered. "Right. The one with your family."

"Yes. And you better be prepared because Aunt Dolores is going to be there."

I paled.

"Damn. Could I maybe not – "

"You're going," Hermione said.

"Damn."

**Author's Note**: That was a thirteen page chapter according to Microsoft Word. Not excruciatingly long, but the longest in this story as of yet. I must say that Non-Perfect Percy was a big hit with all of you. Maybe I'll have him get completely sloshed at the wedding or something. That could be fun! As for the Italian spoken by Miranda and George, I got it off a translation site so if it is grossly wrong, let me know. For those of you, like me, that don't know Italian, here is what was said:

_Lei sono incredibile_: You are unbelievable

_Dolente. Ma sono Muggles. Che altro sono stato supposto per dire?: Sorry. But they're Muggles. What else was I supposed to say?_

_Non che avevamo il sesso nella sua stanza da bagno del fratello! Onestamente_: Not that we were having sex in your brother's bathroom. Honestly!

_Ciao_: Hello

If you know Italian and, if all of that was incorrect, you can drop in a review or e-mail what the real translation of it is and I'll be happy to correct it. This week, my thanks go to:

**lyn**: Thanks for the compliments. I don't think I'll be writing a whole new version of this with _Order of the Phoenix_ in mind. I have a close to twenty other stories to work on before I do that. Good idea, though.

**Queen of the Jungle**: I love Percy, despite everything. I'm glad he was characterized nicely. And since the wedding is looming and there are still major family issues to be resolved in the Weasley house, there will be more Percy! YAY!

**Quiet One**: Glad to know that Mrs. Weasley had a realistic reaction (at least, as realistic as a fictional character can get). The hospital thing was basically just a filler event so I didn't have to think of another plot line, so I'm glad it was good. 

**Lady Laughs-A-Lot**: Yes, our poor deceased friend will be in the story later. Much later, as in wedding chapters. But it makes me happy too. Thanks for the review. Hey, that rhymed!

**Spordelia Chase**: As I said, the hospital thing was just me grabbing plot straws. It took me ages to find a complication that would arrive so early in a pregnancy. But I found it and hooray for me. Glad you liked so much about chapter six. It was a doozy to write. Oh, and the "Farty Barty" part was my favorite scene in the whole story so far.

**Gwen Potter**: You know, I didn't give much thought to the name of the Slytherin who Fred had sex with. If you really want to know, her name was… Sophia Ashwinder. Yeah, that sounds good. Anyways, I'm glad you enjoyed the whole Percy scene. I love Percy.

**dragonbrat**: The Granger Reaction wasn't nearly as apocalyptic as the Weasley one, but I hope you enjoyed in nonetheless. 

**clare**: I'm glad you like the chapter. Thanks for the review!

**BellethePhilosopher'sCookie**: Happy Birthday! Have fun in Italy, you lucky dog. Glad to here life is treating you good. 

**Hollie**: Yes, Aunt Dolores will be very interesting next chapter. It'll be a hoot and a half, I promise. Yes, you get a cameo, you are on my list. Glad you enjoyed the last chapter and hope this one was just as good.

**StRaWbErRiEs AnD BlUeBeRrIeS**: I updated. Hope you enjoyed. By the way, your name is really complicated to write out. Also, have you ever seen the play _Oliver!_ It's a musical version of the book _Oliver Twist_ and it has this song called "Who Will Buy" and there's this part that goes "Ripe strawberries RIPE!" and your name reminds me of that song. My high school did it for the spring play this year and I was one make-up crew and had to here that song everyday. It's a good thing, I assure you. Sorry. That whole thing was just so random.

**oneiros lykos**: If you've never read it, try _Pensieve_ by **Oy! Angelina**. It is one of the most amazing works of both Marauder-era stories and fan fiction in general. And Sirius is hilarious in it. Hope you enjoy.

**Alexandra**: You rock too. Thanks for the suggestions and the review. 

**Hannah Holt**: Thanks for the review. I'm putting the finishing touches on the chapters I'm going to send you, since you're helping me out. Expect them by the end of the week.

**Isadora**: Yeah. I've taken a lot of liberties with Percy, but I don't care. Everything can't be perfect. Happy to know you still like it, though.

**Black Rein**: She had a uterus cyst meaning a cyst, er… in her uterus. Nothing life threatening, but they apparently can be pretty damn painful. And just so you know, Hermione will NOT be having a miscarriage nor will she lose the baby because, as we all know from chapter one, she does indeed have a child. 

**Desda Ryelle**: Awesome that your way into this story. Thanks for the review.

**CrackHead**: Hey! My nickname in eighth grade was Crack Head. What a coincidence. That's sad about how if Percy died you would laugh, but to each his own. Though I'll admit that if a certain other character in the story dies, I won't be the least bit sad. I won't say who, but if you really want to know you can e-mail me. Thanks for reviewing.

**LadyLupin1020**: The dead character seemed to be everyone's favorite character. It's just so heartbreaking. But just think of "Farty Barty" and all shall be sunshine and daisies once again. Not really, but whatever.

**MuggleLover**: Your ramble about fitting inside the book was hilarious, I must say. Thanks for making me laugh and for the super long review. I appreciate them both!

**green smurf**: God, I read the first line of your e-mail and I got really sad thinking I had received a flame. Glad to know you just wanted to try it out and don't really think my story sucked. On the contrary, you appear to honestly enjoy it and I am very glad about that. Thanks for jumping on the _Prankster_ bandwagon. Wee!

**Angel**: I added your cameo to my list of cameos, so "Nicole" will be a Weasley cousin. Thanks for the review.

**sweetevangeline**: I've outdone myself? Well, I hope I did it again with this chapter. I'm sure you'll outdo yourself in the next chapter of "Lightning Bolts…" which needs to be updated ASAP!!!! Just kidding. Update at your own pace.

**Blue Eyed Angel**: Yeah. The whole Fred-newspaper thing was a completely out of the blue idea. I'd seen it before with other characters, but never with Fred. I gave it a go and you all seem to love it. Thanks for the review!

See you all in chapter eight! 


	9. Dinner With Dolores

**Author's Note**: I don't own Harry Potter. Please read the chapter, then the second author's note for my apology. Enjoy!

:*: **8 – Dinner with Dolores** :*:

To say that I was dreading dinner with Hermione's family would be an understatement. To say that I would rather be pummeled with a thousand Bludgers in my sensitive man area instead of going to dinner with Hermione's family would be a slightly lesser understatement. And I was only feeling this way for one reason and it starts with a "D" and rhymes with "valorous." (Which, by the way, I was _not_ feeling.)

That's right. Aunt Dolores. She was going to be at this stupid dinner and I knew I would crumble under her thumb. Hermione knew of my adversity towards her aunt and while she understood it, she was still forcing me to go to dinner; a decision which was final during a conversation we had earlier that day.

"Fred, I know you don't want to go to dinner at my parents – "

"No, Hermione," I interrupted. "I do want to go to dinner at your parents place, but seeing as how your aunt is going to be there, I would rather not. Is there any way I can get out of it?"

"Dammit, Fred," Hermione snapped. "You are going to have to get used to Dolores because she is my aunt and she will be at the wedding and everything. Just buck up."

I huffed like a two year old. 

"Oh, hush," Hermione said. "But we'll have to make sure that you make a good impression on my family this time around. Last time you, er… didn't."

I laughed.

"It is not funny, Fred," Hermione said. "I wouldn't be surprised if my family thought you were a case for St. Mungo's."

"I doubt," I replied, "Your family even _knows_ about St. Mungo's."

"You know what I mean."

I did know, but I find it way too much fun to play around with Hermione than to just give into her demands.

"You should probably dress a bit nice for dinner," Hermione said, adding quickly, "just to make a good impression. You don't have to be in a tuxedo or anything, but maybe a nice button down and trousers?"

"Button down trousers?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. Hermione sighed impatiently. "I know what you mean. I'll get dressed in a bit."

Hermione looked like she was going to say something else to me, but decided against it.

"On second thought, I'll get dressed now," I said, getting off the couch and heading to my closet. On my way into the bedroom, I caught Hermione with a triumphant smile on her face.

:*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*:

We ended up at Hermione's parents house at about six-thirty, exactly one half hour before dinner was to start. That meant that I had exactly one half hour of forced conversations with Hermione's family. Exactly one half hour to dodge the evil Aunt Dolores. 

Of course, since I wanted to avoid her, she's the first one to come up to me and talk.

"You," she said, voice full of anger.

"Er… me?" was my intelligent response.

"You and your dirty thoughts and actions got my little Herman pregnant," she hissed.

"Well, it was Hermione's dirty actions as well," I said. "'Cause you know, it takes two to tango."

She opened her mouth again, but I was too quick and I headed off to find Hermione. It was very apparent that most of the family knew about her pregnancy because she was surrounded by women cooing over her and asking dozens of intrusive questions. I was unable to get through the estrogen field emitting from the women – mostly middle aged – so I meandered about the crowds.

"Are you Fred Weasley?" 

I turned around and came face-to-face with a girl to be about my age. She had mildly long brown hair and green eyes. She was fairly thin only hit at about my chest in height.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Hi," she said. "My name is Kerri. I'm Hermione's cousin."

"Oh, hello," I said, extending my hand. "Fred Weasley. Hermione's cousin."

"And father of her child."

"Yep. We're pretty excited," I said, smiling.

"But it's a child," Kerri responded, cringing a bit. "How old are you, Fred? Twenty, twenty-one?"

"Twenty-two, actually."

"That's really young for a kid." It was a statement.

"Yeah, it is," I responded, a little confused by Kerri's bluntness. "But, hey. Hermione and I love each other a lot and we're getting married in a few months."

"You'll be twenty-three when that happens," Kerri said. "That's really young to get married. Half the marriages these days end in divorce, you do know that right."

"Er…"

"Fred?" I heard Hermione call. "Hi, Kerri. You met Fred, then?"

"Psyched me out is a bit closer to the truth," I said.

"Kerri!" Hermione said.

Kerri shrugged. "What? Just thought I'd let Fred know what was in store for him."

As we walked away from Kerri, I said, "you're family is _psychotic_!"

"Excuse me?" Hermione responded.

"Aunt Dolores, that mean grandparent of yours, Kerri," I said. "Does the entire extended Granger family _hate_ me?"

"God, Fred, no!" she said. "How could you think that?"

"Because they act like they do," I said.

Hermione huffed.

"Well, it doesn't matter what _they_ think," she said. "Because I am in love with you and they can all just sod off if they don't like that."

"Language, Hermione," I said and we laughed. "I love you too."

Hermione smiled her sweet little smile that always shows up when I say that and I leaned down to give her a kiss. I was very close to touching lips with her when someone yelled out,

"WOO-HOO!"

I felt my face get hot and I looked up to find almost the entire room looking at us. I looked down at Hermione and she was bright red. I laughed and the same person yelled out again.

"Don't stop because of us, Lover Boy!"

The room broke into laughter and I swooped down for a very dramatic and passionate kiss. When we ended, the room exploded into applause. Hermione, out of breath, got even more red and hissed at me,

"You are going to pay for this, Fred Weasley."

"How?" I asked. "My family has basically disowned me."

"Lucky bastard."

I let loose a quiet, yet mad cackle that earned a few stares from her family.

It was nearing dinner, so Hermione and I just worked the room and met numerous family members of hers. Few had really stuck out to me more than Aunt Dolores (who I was stealthily avoiding, though I kept feeling her insect-like eyes etching holes in the back of my head) and by the time I had met a quasi-interesting Granger – apart from my fiancé, of course – dinner had began and I was seated next to a brand new person.

"Hi," said the girl next to me. She had light colored hair with streaks of many colors going through it. It was… different.

"Hi," I replied, trying not to stare at her hair. It was oddly entrancing, like those Muggle lights with goo floating around in them. Lava Lamps I believe they are called.

"You saw my hair, I'm assuming?" she asked.

"Er, right."

"And I'm judging form that dumbstruck stare that you must think it to be the most atrocious hairstyle you had ever seen!" she said sarcastically.

"Not really, no," I said.

"My mum hates it," she said. "I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up one morning completely bald because she cut it all off."

"As much I would enjoy hearing about your mother and sharing a few stories of my own," I said. "Perhaps I should, you know, find out who the hell you are… Not to be rude, of course."

"Of course," she snorted. "I'm Wanda. One of Hermione's cousins. There are a lot of us, you see. You must be Fred Weasley, the man who stole my cousins innocence."

"Er…"

Wanda laughed and looked straight into my eyes and said, "don't worry. You _will_ be hearing a lot of things like that; mainly from the older generations because we children are a little more open to the whole sex thing."

"Wanda!" another woman, an older woman, hissed. "That is not a subject that needs to be discussed at the dinner table."

Wanda looked at her plate.

"Sorry, Mum," she said, muttering something so quiet even I couldn't hear what it was. I did hear the next thing though, but it wasn't from Wanda. It was from Dolores. 

"Don't blame Wanda," she said, shooting a sympathetic glance towards her. "Blame the Weasel fellow. He's the one with the dirty mind."

"Er…" was my oh-so-brilliant response. I seem to have a lot of these now a days, especially around Hermione's family. I must contain some unyielding urge to impress them. It's odd because I never have had the urge to impress my family, but who cares.

"Aunt Dolores," Hermione began.

"No, no, no!" Dolores snapped, surprising everyone at the table except me. "I am tired of you all sticking up for this red-headed weasel. He is not worthy of our dear Herman and I will not stand idly by and watch him corrupt her! Though I fear that it's too late for some things."

"For Christ's sake, if she hadn't shagged she'd have shagged someone else!" I yelled at Dolores. "She isn't a bloody nun, you know."

The table was eerily quiet. I pleaded telepathically for someone to say something or drop something. It took a few beats, but a loud snort came from my right side. I looked over and I saw a head of busy brown hair shaking with, what I was amazed at, was laughter.

Hermione was laughing.

I had just extremely embarrassed her in front of almost her whole family.

And she was laughing.

Damn, if Hermione wasn't destined to be a Weasley, I'll eat my hat… or maybe even some snails. 

"Hermione?" I asked. "Are you okay?"

Hermione put her hand up to signify she was fine. She lifted up her head and I spotted tears of mirth down her cheeks. That made the corners of my mouth twitch and soon I was laughing along with everyone at the table.

Except Dolores, of course.

"I do not see what is so funny about this situation!" she screeched, apparently appalled by her families behavior. "He insulted – "

"Who did he insult, Dolores?" Hermione's mother Fiona asked. "For the only person I can possibly understand being offended by Fred's outburst is Hermione and I think she is taking it exceptionally well."

Dolores looked towards Hermione and turned a bit owlish, excusing herself from the table. A waited a few moments after everyone had resumed eating a normal chatter before getting up and scouting the aunt in question.

I found her out on the porch, smoking a cigarette.

"Dolores?" I asked boldly. She whipped around narrowed her eyes and said,

"Do you want anything else, Weasel? You already have Hermione."

I huffed like a five-year-old and said, "I do already have Hermione. She wants me to have her and I want her to have me. I'm not stealing her, if that's what you're implying."

Dolores said nothing.

"And since we're on the subject of Hermione and I, I think I need to get some things straight with you.

"First off, my name is not Weasel. It's _Weasley_ and the last person who called me _Weasel_ had a few unspeakable things, er… cursed upon him. 

"Second, I am going to become a part of the Granger family. I will be Hermione's husband for as long as we stay happy; which is hopefully forever. You don't have to agree with that, but you can at least realize that short of one of our's death will we decide not to be together because we've already been through enough.

"Third, we are going to have a child. Yes, we did have sex. I can't deny that… well, I can, but it'd be stupid because in a few months there will be some pretty damning evidence stating otherwise. Anyways, the point is that we shagged. Big deal. Everyone does it.

"Fourth, I want respect. You give, I'll return it. You care a lot about Hermione and her well being and I do to! I'm also sick of all your comments about how you do not think I am a good enough man for Hermione. You want to know something else? I don't think I'm good enough for her either! She's smarter than me, more responsible than me and a hell of a lot more attractive than me so she doesn't _need_ to be with me. 

"The fact is, she is with me. And that's her decision. So any comment in the future that is a slight towards me… that's a slight towards Hermione and our baby. My family, your family, our family."

:*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*:

I told Hermione what I said to Dolores when we returned to our flat that night. At first she was rightfully wary about it all, but agreed that it did need to be said.

"We're going to have to talk to your family soon," she said, bursting my bubble of arrogant pride.

I sighed. "I know. Can we just do it some other time. I'm tired and sort of all out of neat things to say when arguing with someone."

Hermione nodded. "Of course," she said and gave me a kiss before going off to get ready for bed.

I was in the bed before she came in and I'm sure I was still awake after she fell asleep. I just couldn't fall asleep with the looming shadow of fear growing over my head. I mean, I had always been a little scared Mum because, let's face, she's a frightening woman. But I knew what I had to do and I knew I had to do it soon.

Problem was, I didn't know _how_ to do it. I had to be responsible, civil and adult and I needed help on it from  source that I _despise_ receiving help from. I needed someone with an air of superiority about him… basically someone with an extremely large, splintery stick up his bum.

I had to talk to Percy.

**Author's Note**: I do hope you all are still reading this and have not given up on me and my story. I have many excuses for it all, so I will start form the beginning:

I have had, basically, an entirely packed summer. I've been working constantly on my bathroom, for which I am remodeling for my senior project (a HUMONGOUS project that you have to spend ages working on). I went to Pennsylvania for a week for a family reunion where I had no access to a computer with my stories on the hard drive. I got back and had to deal with my mother going out of town and me turning into the keeper of the house so I spent ages cleaning it so it was clean when she got back from her vacation. Then, Annual started up and since I'm co-Editor-in-chief I have many responsibilities, most of which involve a lot of time dedicated to working on the book. Then, I got my wisdom teeth pulled and was out of commission for EVERYTHING for three days, then I went to a four-day long festival (Bumbershoot!) which ended today.

I hope that clears some of it up and that you can forgive me enough to continue loving my story, because if I would've had the time, I would've written. But now, I have bad news: I am starting school (my senior year) this Thursday so I really am going to have no time to write. I promise that if any other huge delays show up, I will notify you. My writing spirit has been on vacation as well, so it might come back when school starts, though. Basically, I'm saying I'll try like hell to get updates out ASAP.

Thanks you all for understanding.

Now, since it is very late and I want to get this updated quickly, I am not doing individual thanks because it is very time consuming. Just know that I love you all dearly for reviewing and I'll thank you personally next time around. Thank you, thank you, thank you and thank you. 


	10. Letters Printed With Permission

**Author's Note**: I hope I still have fans out there, as I'm being extremely annoying with my lack of updates. Once again, I blame school and the bitch that is homework gnawing on my mind. Pre-Calculus, Physics and Essay Fundamentals are hurting my brain, enabling me from thinking logically about plot ideas. Thanks for being patient with me, though.

:*: **9 – Letters Printed With Permission** :*:

**_December 29_**

_Percy – _

_I was thinking about all the… things that have gone in my life lately. Mainly my disownment from the family due to my fiancés pregnancy. Thinking about such, I began thinking about all the things you said (rather, yelled) at me and I have come to a conclusion. It was a very hard conclusion to come to, but one that I realize I must do. I want my child to have a family and as much as it pains me to say, I need your help._

_Stop smirking. I know you're smirking. You've probably got that 'higher-than-thou' look going. I _hate_ that look. _

_So will you help me?_

_- Fred_

**_December 29_**

_Fred,_

_First off, I was not smirking. At least, not in the 'higher-than-thou' look. I was simply smiling because you have finally woken up to what's going on around you._

_As such, I congratulate you on completing your first task in becoming an adult. Or at least, an adult in Mum and Dad's eyes. We Weasley's are a stubborn bunch. Yes, I am including myself on that, I'll admit. For you to be the one to take the initiative in breaching the gap is a very mature thing indeed. _

_Would you care for a one-on-one or a post lesson?_

_Percy_

**_January 1_**

_Fred –_

_Thanks for hosting that smashing New Years party. I really hit it off with the girl from Hermione's work. We had a… very nice breakfast if you catch my drift._

_Okay, you twisted my arm. We had sex!_

_Thanks again._

_- Ron_

**_January 1_**

_Ron,_

_I do not need to know your sexual escapades. I have to deal with Hermione being sick. I myself don't need to be in a constant state of nausea due to your disgusting triumph. I will, however, pass this information onto Hermione. I'm sure she will be delighted._

_- Fred_

**_January 3_**

_Percy,_

_Sorry I couldn't respond sooner. Lots of baby stuff to do, you know. We can try to get together some time to do a face to face lesson thing, but for the most part I would like this to a post correspondence. I don't think I could stand being with you in person while you try and teach me how to be "proper."_

_Speaking of proper, this has been bothering me. What did Caitlin whisper to you during the party? If the color of your ears were any indication, it was most certainly _not_ proper._

_- Fred_

**_January 3_**

_Fred,_

_Should you really want to take this "proper" adult thing seriously, you must address missed contacts as soon as time permits. Reply to calls, posts, whatever within a two day time frame unless you are on vacation or something. Just any indication that you received the message will suffice._

_I will be more than happy to write up my lessons for you. As long as you don't publish any of them in your bleeding newspaper column… without my permission._

_- Percy_

**_January 4_**

_Percy –_

_Was this quick enough for you?_

_- Fred_

**_January 4_**

_Fred,_

_If you are not going to take this seriously, do not waste my time._

_- Percy_

**_January 6_**

_Fred,_

_Mum is really hurting. She's sent me letter after letter and they are starting to get on my nerves. The first one will be full of anger and spite towards you, her fourth born. Then she'll send another to me saying how amazing you are and how sorry she is for what she said. What did she say? I feel extremely out of the loop here in Romania._

_Also, what's going on with the Wedding? I haven't received a post from you since you let me know the date and told me to be up a week beforehand to do rehearsals. Is everything going to plan?_

_Hope to hear from you soon,_

_- Charlie_

**_January 7_**

_Percy,_

_I am taking this seriously. Maybe you need to remove the large, splintery stick from your ass and learn to take a joke?_

_- Fred_

_P.S.: You still haven't told me what Caitlin said._

**_January 6_**

_Fred,_

_What Caitlin said is really none of your business._

_- Percy_

**_January 6_**

_Percy,_

_Why? Was it _naughty_?_

_- Fred_

**_January 7_**

_Charlie,_

_You mean, after all the letters Mum has sent to you, she never once said what was going on? That's a bit… odd, actually. I'm surprised I haven't received any Howlers from her. But hey, if you want to be in the loop, I'll loop you. Prepare, for you haven't a clue what's in store._

_Hermione is pregnant._

_Needless to say, that is the main issue that is hurting Mum at the moment. She just overreacted. I'll admit that what I said was not the right way and voice to say it in, but the message was and is not regretted. Basically, I told her that I was sick of her treating me like a child, that Hermione and I were keeping the child and that I didn't give a damn as to what she thought of it. Then Percy got mad at me because I spilled the beans about how he almost got Penelope pregnant in his seventh year. Percy's talking to me again, though._

_Wedding is still on. See you then._

_- Fred_

**_January 8_**

_Percy,_

_That Howler was most definitely _not_ appreciated. But okay, point was made. Let the lessons begin._

_- Fred_

**_January 9_**

_Fred,_

_This isn't a quick fix sort of situation. This won't be fully achieved by the end of our correspondence. To become more adult in speak and personality is a trait that took me years to do. Being in only my twenties, I still have yet to become as mature as I can. It's a lifelong process and you have to be completely dedicated to it. Assuming you're thinking, 'I am dedicated,' then I shall proceed._

_Lesson the first: Speak_

_For examples sake, I'll use you talking to Mum as the prime example. When you speak to her, you're going to have to not laugh and ignore what she says. For your information, she is quite aware of the eye-rolling that you think is so sly. _

_To give you advice on what you'll say to Mum when you and she have your first conversation as an mature, reasonable adult, I suggest starting with, _

_"Before we say anything, I want you to know that I do not hold against you what you said to me. You are my mother and, while your thoughts did not agree with mine, I respect them."_

_Of course, that may be a bit too formal for you. You might want to change it to where you feel more comfortable speaking it. Just make sure you say early on in the conversation that you don't hate her._

_- Percy_

_P.S.: The Howler was necessary. You're being a prat._

**_January 10_**

_Percy,_

_I was born a prat. But thank you for your concern. As for the lesson, does mum really think I hate her? Did I say that I hated her? Because I was pissed off, make no mistake, but I could never hate her._

_- Fred_

**_January 12_**

_Fred,_

_Maybe you should tell Mum that._

_- Percy_

**_January 14_**

_Fred,_

_Hermione's pregnant? You had a monstrous row with Mum because of this and I'm just finding out about this now? Am I not part of the family anymore? I owled Bill about it. Apparently _he_ knew, though he was always Mum's favorite. So what's going to happen? You should really talk to Mum and Dad about it. When I told them I wanted to move and study dragons, we got into it with each other._

_Also, what's this about Percy and Penelope's pregnancy scare? Come on, Fred, you have to keep me in the loop because apparently, no one else is._

_- Charlie_

**_January 14_**

_Caitlin_

_Happy Birthday! Hope Percy doesn't buy you something stupid for your birthday, like a Fil-o-fax or day planner. Have a good one._

_- Fred_

**_January 16_**

_Fred_

_Thanks for the birthday wishes! I had a great one. Percy actually tried to cook me a non-magical dinner. After the flames subsided, we order Chinese take-out which was delicious. He also got me a pair of garnet earrings which are very pretty. He promised to take me out dancing one night, but as he hates dancing I am not holding my breath on the situation._

_I'm glad you sent me a post. It's been ages since we last had a chance to talk. Also, I have something to ask you. Have you noticed anything off about Percy's behavior recently? He seems a little nervous and, er… twitchy around me lately. I'm starting to get break-up feelings and I'm a little scared. I really do like your brother and, not to sound pleading and desperate, but could you maybe find out if he's mad at me or something. I want things to work out so… yeah. I just know that your having weekly luncheons with him._

_Thanks again!_

_- Caitlin_

**_January 15_**

_Fred,_

_I forgot to tell you something earlier today when we had lunch. When you are listening to what people are saying, make sure to ask questions. If you ask information specific questions, that will make you seem like you are actually _listening_ to what the person has to say._

_- Percy_

**_January 16_**

_Charlie,_

_Sorry, mate. Thought you knew about all of this madness. Oh well. I pretty much told you everything that happened, just omitted the screaming argument word for word. I'm currently taking "Maturity Courses" from the most, ahem, _mature_ member of the Weasley brood. That's right, Percy. Hope your well and do try not to get burned by your dragons. Maybe you should try writing letters when you're not around dragons? I've noticed the papers you write on are getting more and more singed each day._

_- Fred_

**_January 16_**

_Percy,_

_Thanks for that. Hey, I forgot to ask you. How are things going with Caitlin? You don't really seem to talk about her much anymore. _

_- Fred_

**_January 17_**

_Fred,_

_I'm missing you terribly. Why I let my parents talk me to Paris for a week is beyond me. All I keep thinking about is all the things I have to plan when I get back. You are aware that our wedding is less than three months away, correct? I still need to search for dresses and all of that. Oh, maybe I should just come home… _

_My morning sickness has subsided, which has made France a lot more fun than it was. I went to the Eiffel Tower earlier today and I kept seeing all of these couples completely in love (or should I say, en amour) with one another and I started crying. Mum had to take me back to the hotel. I miss you so much… I think it's quite obvious that my hormones are _still_ fluctuating. _

_Have you talked to Percy lately? I still think it's a wonderful idea for you to talk to him about your problems. I know he can be a bit frustrating at times, but he means well. And after the fact that you revealed a secret of his to your parents, the fact that he's still talking to you is amazing._

_I'll see you in five days!_

_Love,_

_Hermione_

**_January 18_**

_George,_

_How are you? It's slightly depressing with you being in Italy so much with Miranda. I hardly ever get to see you and all the times I have seen you recently we've been trying on wedding suits (not fun) and having problematic dinners (slightly more fun)._

_Have I told you about my maturity lessons with Percy? Yeah, I know. I'm actually sitting down to lunch with him once a week and he's telling me on how to act when I'm around Mum. It's a little insane. _

_Hey, I know! Why don't you get Miranda pregnant? I mean, if you do something to screw up your life entirely, maybe Mum will forget about my misfortunes and focus on yours. Think about it._

_- Fred_

**_January 22_**

_Caitlin,_

_Talked to Percy today. Trust me, he is most definetly _not_ breaking up with you. He is completely in love with you._

_- Fred_

**_January 22_**

_Percy,_

_Could you maybe tell Mum you're news? Maybe it would cut some slack off of the anger or sadness she's holding on me?_

_- Fred_

**_January 23_**

_Fred,_

_I am not even going to dignify that suggestion with an answer. Have you learned nothing from our lunches?_

_- Percy_

**_January 23_**

_Hermione,_

_You come home tomorrow and I am counting the hours. Until then._

_- Fred_

**_January 25_**__

_Fred,_

_I am not impregnating my girlfriend just to lessen Mum's anger towards you. I am not dumb enough to invoke her wrath. At least, not about this I'm not._

_Things are fine here in Italy. It's a little cold, but what do you expect in winter? I actually met Miranda's parents a little while ago. It's a little amazing I hadn't met them yet, but they seemed like nice people. I tried speaking Italian to them but when I accidentally said, "Your daughters breast are most delectable" I stopped. I was trying to compliment the cooking, honest! Anyways, Miranda translated the entire night with her parents speaking in fractured English. It was an enjoyable night._

_I also found out that Miranda has six older brothers. Sound like a family we know? Am now hoping they are not as protective of Miranda as we were to Ginny. I'm going to owl Ginny to apologize after I'm done writing this to you._

_Did you know you have less than three months until you are not a single man anymore? I am seeing sparkly g-strings with dollar bills in them, if you catch my drift._

_- George_

**_January 27_**

_To all of our friends and family,_

_We are sending this message out in bulk because we are trying to not waste as much time. When you get this, we will already have been married. This was not Percy's suggestion. After he proposed, Caitlin wanted to hitch immediately. Percy reluctantly agreed, but is entirely happy at the prospect of being a married man. As such, we are inviting everyone to a party on February 6 (after our Greek honeymoon) in the Enchanted Gardens Ballroom where we will have a formal celebration of our vows. Please, do not be angry with us. This just seemed to be the easiest way, considering the tidings in some families. Hope to see you all there._

_- Mr. and Mrs. Percy and Caitlin Weasley_

**_January 28_**

_Mum,_

_I would very much like to get together sometime before Percy's party to clear the air between us. I have a few things to say and it would mean a lot to me if I could say them directly to you. Please, let me know. _

_Your son,_

_Fred_

**_January 28_**

_Fred, _

_How about dinner tomorrow night? Be here at around seven._

_- Mum_

**_January 29_**

_Bill, Charlie, Percy, George, Ron, and Ginny,_

_I'm going in for my talk with Mum in two days. Wish me luck._

_- Fred_

**_January 31_**

_Fred,_

_Good luck!_

_- Bill_

**_January 31_**

_Fred,_

_Good luck!_

_- Charlie_

**_January 31_**

_Fred,_

_Good luck!_

_- Percy and Caitlin Weasley_

**_January 31_**

_Fred,_

_Good luck!_

_- George and Miranda_

**_January 31_**

_Fred,_

_Good luck!_

_- Ron_

**_January 31_**

_Fred,_

_Good luck!_

_- Ginny and Harry_

**Author's Note**: I know exactly where I'm going with chapter ten. It will be the Weasley Confrontation and Percy and Caitlin's party. It should be very fun with all the Weasley's meeting Caitlin's family for the first time. There will be a strong focus between Hermione and Fred's rush into life. Let's just say Hermione and Fred haven't been as happy as they seemed to be. I'm hoping to crack it out in less than two weeks. I'll really try. Thanks again for being so exceedingly patient with me. I know you all have or are attending school, so you can understand the burden.


	11. Party Hardy

**Author's Note**: Bah. I'm done with chapter ten. Though I cannot promise that I'll have eleven done in any quicker of a time frame, I can at least give you this little dose of Fred to maybe tide you over. As you can tell, I'm becoming increasingly more horrible with updates, but sometimes I just cannot help it. I apologize and I hope you enjoy this.

:*: **10 – Party Hardy** :*:

I guess my fear of dinner with my mum and dad was quite unnecessary. How did I come to that conclusion you may ask? Well, when I knocked on the Burrow's front door (something I had _never_ done before), I promptly had the wind knocked out of me by my mother who had just short of tackled me.

Turns out, she was hugging me.

"Oh, Fred," Mum wailed. "I'm so sorry for all things I said I'm such a horrible mother I should be happy for you and Hermione I love you both so much and I just felt you were ruining your lives but now I see that you both love each other so much and you must be mature because you've never stood up and yelled at me before and I just feel awful and I'm so glad you don't hate me I love you, Fred!"

Yes, she said _all_ of that in one between-sobs breath.

"Mum, please," I said, hugging her back. "I don't hate you."

"Really?"

I pulled away from her and looked her in the eye.

"How in the hell could I hate you?" I asked.

"Don't curse, Fred."

I smiled.

"You're my mum. After everything I've put you through in all my years, the least I could do to even begin to pay you back is to love you. So we had a fight. Doesn't mean I hate you. I have fights with Ron all the time."

"I feel horrible," she said. "Ask your father."

"She wouldn't shut up about it," Dad said, smiling and walking towards me. He pat me on the back and said, "good to see you, Fred."

"You too, Dad," I replied. Now was my chance. "So what about Percy, eh?"

Mum made a slight snarling noise.

"You mother isn't very happy with that," Dad explained. "Though she isn't nearly as mad at Percy as she was you – "

"Damn."

" – but she thinks they should've told us what they were doing."

"Will this family have no _normal_ weddings?" Mum asked, throwing her hands up in frustration.

"Harry and Ginny," I offered.

"Really? Did they tell you something?" Mum asked eagerly.

"Er… no," I said. "As far as I'm aware, Ginny and Harry are not getting married."

Mum's face immediately fell. I could bet she had a huge chest in the attic full of things she wanted at Ginny and Harry's wedding. If I were them, I'd pull a Percy and elope.

"But you are going to Percy and Caitlin's celebration, correct?" I asked.

Mum waved her hand dismissively.

"Of course, of course," she replied.

"Wouldn't miss it," Dad added.

:*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*:

"I hate parties," I said for what felt like the thousandth time. "Or at least – "

"Fancy dress parties," Hermione finished. "Yes I know. Now do shut up about it. We're here for Percy and to meet Caitlin's family. Oh, wow!"

We had reached the Enchanted Gardens Ballroom and Hermione was right. It was most definitely a "wow" type of room. Most witches and wizards never have the luck to be invited to a ball at Enchanted Gardens, so the fact that I was there was pretty "wow" unto itself.

Hermione kept pointing at things in excitement, like the trays of food floating on sparkling clouds or the lights with sparkles falling out of them or the thousands upon thousands of different type of flower. I wouldn't have been surprised if this place housed every single flower in the entire world. Make that _fifty_ of every flower.

"Fred! Hermione!" I heard Percy call out. I looked around and found him standing with Caitlin in front of a very long food-filled table. We walked towards him, me eyeing all the food until I saw Percy and Caitlin's panic-stricken expressions.

"What's wrong?" Hermione asked.

"I think you should leave," Percy said bluntly.

"What?" I asked. Hermione looked like she was going to cry. It's hormones, I tell you.

"More of my side of the family got invitations than I thought," Caitlin said. "I guess my mum or grandmum sent out some extras – "

"And why does that mean Hermione should leave?" I asked.

"Not just her, but Ron and Harry… Oh, Fred," Caitlin said, now looking like she was going to join Hermione in her crying. "My eighth cousin-fifty million times removed is here and – " I gave an impatient sigh. – "My _very_ distant cousin is Pansy Parkinson… and her husband is here as well."

"Let me guess," I responded. "Pansy's husband is none other than the famous Malfoy himself?"

"Right in one," Percy responded, gripping Caitlin's hand tighter in comfort.

"Most of my family is real great," Caitlin said, arguing with what could only be herself. "But once you get _really_ far in the distant relations, like everyone else I've got some less-than-nice people. And I didn't ever think they would show up. I've only ever seen Pansy twice, if that and when Percy told me about Hogwart's and how horrid they had been to you I – "

Hermione stopped Caitlin and said, "It'll be okay. I lasted seven years with the two of them. I think I can handle a few hours. I'm confident that Harry and Ron can as well. Just don't let them interact with one another for more than a second or two. Actually, don't let them interact at all."

It was quiet and the four of us eyed Pansy and Draco, both of which were (and this is editorial opinion) eyeing the rest of the guests with disgusted looks on their faces. I couldn't help but thinking that if they were so disgusted by who was here, why didn't they leave? My question was answered when Pansy spotted Hermione and whispered something to Draco and he laughed.

He looked kind of scary when he laughed.

But then again, he _is_ a Malfoy. It's his job to frighten other people.

Somehow, in my surveying of the Slytherin couple (Pansy, whom I noticed had a distinctly pregnant bulge in her stomach), Hermione, Percy and Caitlin had disappeared. And judging by the way Pansy had earlier whispered to Draco, I couldn't help but feel a bit suspicious of the whole situation.

As stated before, Draco _is_ a Malfoy.

Before I could dwell too much on this, however, I saw George and Miranda walking towards me. Miranda looked as enchanted (no pun intended) with the Ballroom as Hermione had. George was snickering at something.

"What is it?" I asked, eager to be let in on the little joke.

"Check out Malfoy," George  whispered.

I stole a glance towards him.

"I don't see it," I replied. "What did you do?"

"Oh, no. This was entirely of his _own_ accord, I assure you. Look further down."

I followed George's instructions and let my eyes wander down. I felt like a true idiot, as if anyone had noticed it would appear I was checking Malfoy out. You know: in _that_ way. However, when I reached his manly area, I burst out laughing.

You see, Malfoy has always been one to wear his cloaks to any sort of occasion. This time, it was no different. However, he also had a pair of black trousers on. Trousers with a zipper. A zipper that was unzipped. An unzipped zipper that was revealing some – gold satin, as I viewed from across the room – knickers.

That's right: Knickers.

For women.

_Women's knickers!_

It must have been some naughty thing he was trying for Pansy but oh, it was one of those priceless moments that you wanted to capture on film. And thankfully, the _Witch Weekly_ Society Pages photographer that had attended the party (Percy and Caitlin _are_ Purebloods, after all) opted at that moment to snap a picture of Draco Malfoy. After the photographer fled the scene with a huge grin on her face was when someone finally informed Malfoy that his zipper was down and he was angry.

"I wouldn't be laughing so hard if I were you," I heard Ron say to me. He must have come when I was entranced with Draco's knickers – which sounds half wrong, half amusing.

"Why?" I said, laughing. "It was hilarious!"

"Because Hermione looks ready to beat someone senseless," he hissed.

I whipped my neck around, trying to locate her, which I did. I saw her stalking towards me in her dark blue dress, fists clenched and a very unhappy expression on her face.

"I want to leave," she snarled.

"What hap – "

"_Now!_" she snarled.

"But, Hermione, I – "

"Don't patronize me, Fred Weasley. I can't _believe_ you!" Hermione said.

"What's wrong?" I asked, thoroughly confused. I had only ever seen Hermione this mad once before in our entire relationship and that was when we fought over her saying she wanted to have sex and me laughing in her face.

So obviously, I knew this was bad.

"What's wrong?" Hermione interjected my thoughts. "_What's wrong!? _I'll tell you what's wrong! I can't even believe that I wasted the last few years of my life with you! I can't believe I actually agreed to get married to you and that I'm carrying your child!"

Whoa.

"Where did this all come from?" I asked, starting to grow uncomfortable with all the stares we were starting to receive.

"Like you don't know Fred. Think really hard," Hermione snarled.

I thought, as instructed. However, I came up with nothing. Well, nothing that would invoke such a wrath from Hermione.

"I cannot even begin to fathom what is going on," I finally admitted.

"Neither can I," a very familiar voice from behind me said. I heard some gasps from the crowd that had gathered. I turned around and had to do a double take.

Hermione was standing there, looking almost as confused as I was.

But wait, Hermione was still standing on the other side of me as well. Only that Hermione looked a bit panicked. My Hermione looked a bit ruffled.

"Fred," the Hermione that just arrived said. "What in God's name is going on?"

"I, I don't know," I stuttered.

But no, the surprises just kept on coming for a moment later, the crowd parted and Draco Malfoy sauntered up to Hermione and me and, well, Hermione it seemed.

"I think I know what's going on," Malfoy drawled, as if pained greatly by this whole mess.

"What?" Hermione and I both took the bait.

"This one," Malfoy said, simply pointing to the one who had been yelling at me moments before, "Is not Hermione."

The other Hermione (the one Draco was not pointing at) said, "Well I think that's quite obvious, seeing as how I'm right here."

"Very astute, Granger," Malfoy said. "No, I think this one is my incredibly stupid wife."

A shocked murmur waved through the crowd.

"Draco," Pansy-Hermione whined. "Why did you do that?"

"Because this was a stupid idea," Malfoy said angrily. "I told you when we got the invite not to do anything stupid. Do you just _want_ to throw me back into Azkaban? You know I'm still on probation. _I'm not supposed to break any more laws and disturbing the peace is a sodding law!_"

"Draco, you never let me have any fun," Pansy simpered.

Finally, Caitlin stepped into the argument.

"Both of you, get out. Pansy, I don't even understand why you would do this as I barely know you. Draco, I appreciate you trying to solve the problem but I would appreciate it even more if you got Pansy out of here and never again let her come to any more of my functions," she snapped angrily, her ears getting red (like Percy's do!).

Malfoy nodded curtly and grabbed Pansy (who still looked like Hermione) and dragged her out of the ballroom, still snapping at her. Of what I heard, I especially liked,

"I'm all for making fun of Mudbloods and Muggles, but why the hell did you have to pull my fly down? Is this why you wanted me to wear your knickers? I can't even believe this…"

An odd silence befell the room, as if no one really knew how to continue with a party after an occurrence like that. But after all, this _was _a Weasley function and within seconds a Filibuster Firework was shot into the air, sprinkling the entire room and guests with a bright red sparkle.

I looked my twin and saw him grinning and gave him thumbs up. After that, a steady flow of conversation started back up. Most talk was about how unbelievable and irrational what Pansy did was.

"You know," I said to Hermione. "When Pansy came up to me, looking like you and all, and started yelling at me, that was the most confusing thing I've ever experienced. More confusing than the O.W.L.s and a bit more confusing than your emotions. It was all very interesting."

"Well, I hope the fact that I love you isn't confusing," Hermione replied.

"Nope," I said. "_That_ one is as clear as day."

Hermione smiled.

**Author's Note**: What a severely anti-climactic ending. But it's a warm-fuzzy ending and those are always enjoyable. As usual, I encourage you to review and say what you liked, hated or that you want to beat me with a badger because I'm taking so long to update. Also, if it interests anyone out there, I have a new story almost done and I'll begin posting soon. It's called "The Lucky One" and contains a (very rare) pairing of Ginny and Oliver with bits of Harry/Luna and Hermione/Percy with pinches of George/Alicia, Fred/Katie and Bill/Fleur. As is the case with most of my stories, Ron is single. I've yet to write him having a girlfriend, so if you'd like that title leave me a review and I'll make sure to throw you in. Cheers!

_Sneezy Mouse_


	12. Interlude

After reading this brief interlude, please read the Author's Note at the end. It's long, but everyone that reads this story and has been badgering me about updates NEED to read it. Thank you.

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:: **10 - Interlude :**:

It would be a disaster when Hermione came home. She cries a lot now. When I kiss her good-bye or say 'I love you'... she cries. When she loses a sock, she cries; wears pants that are too short, etc... the doctors told me her crying fits would end in February. It's the beginning of March now... and she still cries.

So when the caterer called to cancel our wedding service, I knew she'd cry. I didn't think she'd be so angry about it though.

"It's _NOT_ okay, Fred Weasley!" she roared, I'm sure disturbing some neighbors.

"Hermione, he can't help it," I said, trying to calm her down.

"Of course not!" Hermione cried. "No one can help anything!"

"His mother died!"

"And his bloody mother dying is more important than my _wedding_!?" she asked.

I didn't want to point out that it was actually _our_ wedding, so I responded with, "Of course not. What a wanker. Canceling on us so he can plan his mum's funeral? Cad."

Hermione huffed.

"You've made your point, Fred," she said. "But what are we going to do? The caterer has canceled. To get a new company to cater our wedding to the extent we need it to be on this short of notice is going to be next to impossible."

"I still think we should just hire a magic caterer."

"Fred, there are going to be almost fifty Muggles at the wedding," Hermione said practically. She of course has said this before, but that didn't stop her. "We need to minimize the amount of magic we use or we could be at risk of breaking a lot of Ministry Decrees like Misuse of - "

"Calm down, Percy," I said jokingly, earning a glare (accompanied by a smile) from Hermione. "We'll figure something out."

"Fred, I am beginning to think this wedding should just be postponed," Hermione said.

Seeing as how the wedding was all she could bloody well talk about, this statement caught me off guard. Sensing this, she explained.

"Please don't take that to mean I don't want to get married because I do. I really do. I love you and I know that we'll be happy together. But so much is going _wrong_. We are getting signs from... from somewhere telling us that we shouldn't do it. And maybe we should just wait until the baby comes." Hermione took this moment the rest her hands on her belly. "You know, get the whole 'parent' thing off the ground because that's going to be hard. And then, after that, we should get married. And how great would that be, for our baby to actually be able to experience that?"

Looking in her eyes, I could tell that was false enthusiasm.

"Hermione," I responded. "I am going to marry you. If you feel that we should wait, I am not going to rush it. We'll do what we do, when we do it."

"How poetic," she responded.

I laughed as well and glanced down at her belly. It was the fifth month of her pregnancy and she had surprisingly not developed a very large stomach. Her doctor said she was carrying the baby high and that she would be developing the same protrusive belly that most pregnant women do. Hermione was a little upset at first, knowing she wouldn't have the tell-tale sign she was pregnant but she wouldn't have to take out her wedding gown as much which would save some money.

Suddenly, I was hit with an amazingly brilliant idea. An idea that was nothing like the ideas I had in school. Those were destructive and comical. This was nothing like that.

"Hermione, why don't you go shopping for a little bit?" I asked. She looked at me funny so I explained. "You know you like shopping. Going to that book shop in Diagon Alley always makes you feel better, so maybe you should go."

Hermione nodded and left to get ready. I began to put my plan in action. I scribbled notes quickly to George, Lee, Ginny and Ron to get over to the flat in ten minutes after Hermione had left. Once there, we would begin the plan.

The most brilliant plan in the history of the world.

"I don't believe it," Ginny said. "That's brilliant!"

"That's really not something I would expect you to think of," was Ron's contribution.

"Quiet. Do you think it will work, though? Do you think we can manage it?" I asked.

"Fred," Lee answered. "We are five highly trained witches and wizards. Of _course_ we can do it!"

I smiled broadly, knowing I had all of them to help.

"Okay, here's the plan. I have divided tasks for all of you - Harry, since you came with Ginny, I'll give you some of everyone else's. They have to be finished within _four hours_. Four. Can you do that?"

"We might need to know what are tasks are, oh Mighty Taskmaster," George said.

"Oh, right," I said, picking up my scraps of paper and discarded table napkins. "Ginny, you are on diversionary tactics. Keep Hermione as far away from the Burrow as possible. Until four. Take her back to your flat and somehow convince her to get her into the dress. Do whatever you have to. Ron, get Mum working on food. Attached is the list of meals that we had planned on having before the caterer cancelled. Also, get the rest of the family to help set the back yard up. I need more minions to help me. George and Lee, I need you to gather the groomsmen and bridesmaids and finish the last of the tailoring. After that, get to the Burrow and help set up. Harry, can you get in touch with Hermione's family? Tell them what's going on? Good. I have to get ready and write my thing... can we do this?"

All of my minions looked at one another, then back at me. I must have had a desperate expression on my face because a few mouths started twitching like they were _so close_ to laughing, but thought better of it.

Ginny finally took my hand and said,

"Of course we can do it."

At that point, I felt that old mischievous smile creep back onto my lips, as if it knew that I was being very cunning - very Slytherin (but in a good way) at the moment.

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**Author's Note**: Okay. I am posting that little bit of the chapter because I need actual writing to post an Author's Note and not infringe on 's Terms Of Service. So three and a quarter pages in now an interlude of 'RCP.'

I am sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I know it is not fair to write a story that obviously so many people love and then just stop writing it. It's mean and I too have stories I enjoy that have not been updated in ages and I get frustrated too. But really, is all of this harassment necessary?

I am nineteen years old. I have a life. My life does _not_ revolve constantly around fan fiction. Here's a schedule of what my life has been like since I last updated (March 19, 2004):

March-April: As the new quarter of high school started, the realization that in mere months I was graduating was setting in. My school had senior projects and I chose for mine to be remodeling my bathroom. So from March to April, every open moment I had was remodeling a bathroom ON MY OWN. It's hard, just so you know. After the remodeling was finished, I had to write a presentation and make a notebook of the project. All of this is the main determinant of whether or not I will graduate from high school. Therefore, I worked very hard.

May: Work for the spring theatre production began. Being student chair of the make-up, hair and costume departments, I was required to spend the hours of 2:30 in the afternoon to 10:30 at night MTWRF and _then_ do all the homework I had for my AP classes (including physics, English, history and Calculus). I would usually get to bed at around three in the morning. On Saturdays and Sundays I was in the Green Room from 9am to 12am...

June: Graduation and the release of my yearbook. I was editor-in-chief of the staff and to plan the events for Annual Day meaning more late nights and phone calls. Then Graduation came and my grandmother came to visit for a week and I showed her around Seattle. I began working at this point.

July: Schedule for work included eight hour shifts four days a week. Seeing as how I also have a large circle of friends and enjoy being around my family, days I was not working were spent doing those things. Since my best friend was leaving for school in August, I of course wanted to see her a lot. As I was leaving for school in September, being with my family was also very important.

August: Continued working, though now the shifts changed to eight hour days six days a week. Time for my friends and family lessened, so open times was spent with them and not writing.

September: I moved out of my house and started college. Obviously a very trying time for me. As I was building relationships with my roommates, I was also struggling with taking 17 credits (standard freshman load for fall quarter is 12-14).

October: Classes began swamping me with homework. I was not in standard freshman classes, either (i.e. 101, 103, etc). My schedule consisted of Art History 220, Communications 235, Math 205, English 303 _and_ History 375. Ten page papers were a weekly occurrence in two of those classes. My writing ability was tapped.

November: Intensity of classes lessened. Was able to post new story, _Much Mistletoeing_ and work on other original works but after the Thanksgiving break (where I resumed working again to help pay for my textbooks and schooling), Finals Week started. I had Finals in each of my classes, all test and essays combined. Therefore, studying v. important.

December: Finals and the holidays. Worked constantly. Over a three week period, was able to see my father three times. Saw my mother five. Whenever I wasn't working, I was sleeping. Got sick with an unknown disease (most likely five Flus at once, or at least that's how it felt).

January: Went back to school. Now am taking eighteen credits. Classes are now at 200 _and_ 300 levels.

So no, I don't think some of you all understand what its like to be in school and working so much that all you are able to do when you get a moments rest is homework or sleep. And as I said before, it isn't fair. And I really am not appreciating the reviews saying "come on you can't leave all your reder hanging like that ! it's been like a year since youve updated i had this story on my favs but if you dont update i'll have to give up on it and i never like to give up on a good story" and "What's up with that?! Come on! Update!! Pretty, Pretty please??" and "thats it? is that the whole story? WHY HAVENT YOU UPDATED!?"

So here it is: If I receive any more reviews of that nature, I will take my stories down off of this site and start posting only on FictionAlley.

Sorry to be a bitch, but its just really starting to piss me off. And I know there are fans out there that have been very kind and who I love dearly as fans, but... I just can't take it anymore.

- Sneezy Mouse


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